Frozen Heart
by Snowells1234
Summary: Something's going on with HR but no one can seem to figure out what until a message from Earth 19 appears.
1. Unexplained Genius

_AN: Hi this is my first time writing for the flash so please enjoy and review. _

Sitting in the cortex, Caitlin was listening to HR tell a story about his latest book. He had just got up to the part where a meta had attacked the city using mirror abilities, so she already knew how the story ended, but with HR you never really knew what kind of twist he would put in the story. As he got to the part where the Mirror Master had just locked him in the mirror, the alarms blared. Looking to the monitor Caitlin could see that there was a robbery in progress. _Why couldn't metas take a day off_

"Is it the Central City Bank?" Barry asked as he rushed in at lighting speed.

Caitlin checked the monitor. "No, it's the jewelry store on Clemson Avenue."

Cisco who had just walked in hurried to the computer. "The police are already on their way l."

Caitlin couldn't help but feel a little bit of dread as Barry changed and zipped to the scene; what if this meta was dangerous? Her mind flashed back to Zoom and all the carnage he'd caused. Shaking her head she forced the memories away and focused as Barry announced his arrival over the comms.

Before Caitlin could say anything HR beat her to the punch, "Do you see the meta anywhere, BA?"

A few seconds ticked by before Barry answered, "Yeah, I got eyes on him." Even though she was safe at STAR Labs, Caitlin couldn't help but feel her heart pounding rapidly in her chest. "It looks like he has some kind of magnetic ability."

"What makes you think that?" Cisco, just like her sounded confused.

"Well because almost all the jewelry is stuck to him along with people's keys."

Cisco and Caitlin exchanged looks.

"What if we got a giant magnet and cancelled out his magnetic field?" Barry suggested, sounding desperate and Caitlin could understand why. If this meta wanted he could bring the whole building down, killing a lot of people. "Guys I really need an answer, he just grabbed a kid hostage."

Feeling the pressure Caitlin turned to Cisco who seemed to be going through the same thing she was. Taking a glance at HR, she saw him thinking really hard about something with his head down and his eyes screwed shut. It was in moments like these she wished Harry had stayed. He would have thought of something. Sadly, he had to go back to his own Earth and his own life.

Surprisingly though, HR sat in front of the microphone and said in a shaky voice, his eyes still tightly closed: "Barry I need you to come back to STAR Labs."

"What? No, he can't just leave." She shouted, feeling anger at the novelist who seemed to be struggling.

He put up his hand to silence her. "I have an idea. Inside the particle accelerator, there is..." He stopped speaking, putting his thoughts into order. Cisco now had his full attention on the man in between them. HR slapped his hand on the desk and continued, "Vacuum chambers contain a metal called Mu-metal that can suck in the magnetic field so it can't go anywhere else." Caitlin was shocked as she stared at the man beside her who seemed to be completely unaware of what he'd just said as he stood up and left the cortex.

"Okay, that was weird right?" Cisco broke the uncomfortable silence but it was short lived as Barry came rushing in asking about the vacuum chambers. "They're inside the pipeline." She watched as the speedster rushed to the pipeline to retrieve the Mu-metal.

With the metal, the Flash ran back to the jewelry store where the robber was trying to make a getaway with his hostage. Caitlin's stomach tightened and hoped that in this rare occurrence that HR was right. She held her breath as she waited to see what would happen. The seconds ticked by like an eternity to her. Please let this work. She didn't feel very useful at the moment. Finally Barry's voice came over the comms, "Guys it worked! We got him." Letting out the breath she was holding, the weight on Caitlin's shoulders lifted. Cisco fell back in his chair and let out a huge sigh.

The woosh of air let them know that Barry had returned. Looking up from where she had been resting her head on the back of the chair, Caitlin could see confusion on the speedster's face. "That was HR who gave me that solution?"

"Yeah. It was weird." Cisco was the first to recover. They all stared at each other, not sure what to do with this new, surprising information. Composing herself she spoke up, "It seemed like he was struggling to think." Caitlin remembered how his eyes were closed tightly and his face was scrunched in hard concentration.

"So what does that mean? That he just had a stroke of luck?" Cisco asked but before Barry or Caitlin could respond, a voice spoke up.

"Who had a stroke of luck?" Feeling startled Caitlin spun around to see HR with a fresh cup of coffee in hand.

"HR, that was genius about the Mu-metals! How did you come up with that?" Cisco was the first one to recover from the shock of the man just appearing out of nowhere.

HR looked at the younger man in confusion. "What? I don't remember doing that." Now that did throw Caitlin through a loop, she didn't know what to say and she wasn't the only one, because Barry looked even more confused than ever and Cisco might as well have been told pigs could fly. Pulling a drumstick from his back pocket, HR waved it around the room and spoke in a soft voice, "You sure Harry isn't around here?" He seemed to believe what he was saying because he started scanning the room for his doppelganger.

Recovering first Barry said, "No, Harry's on his Earth. It was you who told me how to stop that meta."

HR face furrowed into confusion, he shook his head. "No, I left to get coffee."

Thinking that perhaps the man just simply didn't remember, Caitlin spoke up about how it had been right before he left the room.

Which apparently had been the wrong thing to say, because in a very unlike HR way, he snapped at her, "Look I know I'm not as smart as my doppelgangers - but you guys are being very mean right now." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't need you guys to make me feel important. Okay, I know I don't bring much to the team, but I know what I've done and haven't done." He stormed out of the room, leaving Caitlin and she was sure the rest of the team with a headache.


	2. More Questions

Stepping into STAR Labs the following morning, Caitlin was still worried about HR and what had transpired yesterday. She couldn't understand why he had acted that way - it just didn't make any sense. Arriving in the cortex she could see Cisco was already there trying to rub the sleep from his eyes. Noticing her presence he gave a whispered good morning. Before she could give him a reply, HR came rushing in with a smile and a cup of coffee.

"Good morning you guys." He greeted in a booming voice. All the tension from yesterday was gone from the novelist's face as he beamed his signature smile. Cisco groaned with how loud the other man was being. Sensing that now wasn't the best time to ask about the incident, Caitlin stood up and headed for her lab.

"I'm just gonna go get some work done." She could hear the strain in her own voice. She'd been trying to find a way to stop Killer Frost from making an appearance but she felt like it was going to be a big failure. Setting her purse on the back of her chair she set off to do some work. Caitlin couldn't shake the feeling that something was very seriously wrong as she willed herself to look away from HR and focus on meta genes. It was a losing battle as her eyes lifted again to the man waving his drumsticks talking to Wally about something she couldn't hear. How could he not remember helping with the meta?

Julian walked in pulling her from the same thought she had for the last two hours. "Good morning." He greeted her. She gave him a nod. The silence stretched on but Caitlin didn't mind as she tried to focus on the metahuman genes again. Sadly though, Julian brought up the very person she'd been trying to not think of.

"I heard HR was actually helpful yesterday." He sounded like he was having a hard time believing his own words.

"Yep, he really surprised us." She really didn't know what else to say to the man but apparently, their conversation wasn't over.

"Let me guess you and your lovely team have decided to completely overlook the whole thing?" Caitlin could just hear the judgemental tone coming from the man.

Looking up from her research she turned and glared at the man, "Listen, Julian, if HR was a threat, we as a team would deal with it. But to answer your question, yes we have decided for the moment to drop it." She could feel her teeth grinding together.

The blond took a step forward and reached out for her but she pulled away from him. Caitlin saw the pained expression on his face but chose to ignore it. Julian ran his fingers through his hair. "Listen I'm sorry but I don't think you should be so trusting of the man. What if he's dangerous? I really don't think you should be alone with him."

"What?" Surely she misheard him, there was no way Julian thought he was going to tell her what to do. The look on her face must have conveyed her point because he opened his mouth and tried to apologize but he only started stuttering.

Deciding that she didn't want to hear his apology she stormed out of the med bay and stepped into the cortex where Barry and Iris were discussing their upcoming wedding. Caitlin could feel her insides turn at the discussion of weddings and love. She felt she was cursed in that department. With everything that happened with Ronnie, she didn't see herself getting married again. Pushing those thoughts to the side, Caitlin decided to leave the love birds and go see what Cisco was doing.

Finding him in his lab she could see that he was working on some device. "Hey, can we talk about HR?" She needed reassurance that they were doing the right thing by ignoring what happened. Cisco pulled himself away from his project and gave her a knowing look.

"I'm glad someone else wants to talk about this." He sounded like he'd been wanting to discuss this since it happened. Putting down the tool he had been using, Cisco rose from his stool to face her. "It was weird."

Caitlin rolled her eyes as Cisco brought up the obvious. "Yes it was, but now Julian is saying we shouldn't trust him." She could hear the doubt in her voice. The way her friend was staring at her told her not to worry about it.

"Hey, if HR is dangerous like Thawne, then we'll stop him." Cisco reassured her, reaching out to grip her shoulder. Feeling slightly better Caitlin smiled at Cisco who returned her smile. "So any theories about what happened?" Cisco asked sitting down again.

She raked her brain like she'd been doing since yesterday but always came to a bunch of different conclusions. "Well, I have a few different ones but nothing concrete." The man sitting in front of her seemed to be thinking about what she said as he brought his cup to his mouth.

"Maybe we should call Harry?" I mean he did have his doubts about his doppelganger to begin with."

Caitlin couldn't argue with that logic. Maybe Harry can help. She nodded her agreement.

Cisco stood and started heading for the speed lab.

"You know, I'm going to tell Barry what we're doing, okay?" The last thing they needed was a panicked speedster on their hands. Cisco nodded and continued walking. Making her way to the cortex Caitlin couldn't help but think of the last time she had seen Harry and how happy she would be to see the man again.

Caught up in her own thoughts Caitlin almost missed the doppelganger of the man she was currently thinking of. He seemed to be in a hurry for some reason. "Hey HR!" She said getting his attention. The man looked up at her and gave her a bright smile that soon faltered. "Is everything okay?" She couldn't help but feel like something was off with him.

HR seemed nervous about something as he retrieved the drumstick from his pocket and started twirling it around his long fingers. "Yeah, of course, Caity cat, I'm always okay." He tried to reassure her but the way he looked at her made Caitlin think he was regretting something. With one final twirl of his drumstick and a half-hearted smile, he continued on his way.

Well, that was weird - why would he call me that and why would he stare at me like that? Deciding that now was not the best time to think about it she continued on her way. She found Barry and Iris in the Cortex still discussing their marriage plans. "Hey guys, sorry to interrupt , but Cisco and me discussed it and decided to bring Harry over to see what he thinks of the whole HR situation."

Barry was the first to recover, "Wait, you and Cisco decided to breach Harry over?" Not wanting to repeat herself, Caitlin just nodded.

"Oh well, then let's go see him." Iris sounded like she wanted to be anywhere but in that room. Before they could get to the speed lab, the man of the hour stepped into the cortex. Caitlin couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face - she really did miss him. The scientist turned to her returning her smile and came closer reaching out Caitlin. Realizing what he was doing, she returned the gesture and they engulfed each other in a tight embrace.

After a few seconds, they pulled apart, she could smell his aftershave clinging to her. "Snow." Was all he had said to her.

"Harry." She really didn't know what else to say. Clearing his throat Harry walked past her and extended his hand to Barry with a short greeting, "Allen and Ms. West. So Ramon tells me something is going on with HR?" Harry looked around the room.

Barry opened his mouth to speak but closed it real quick. HR was at the entrance and about to make his appearance. Walking past everyone without saying a word he went to the med bay. Ok, that was weird. Almost like he read her thoughts Harry spoke up, "Okay I've been here for a total of two minutes and he just walked past me without saying anything? Yeah, that's weird."

The small group watched as HR seemed to be tearing through files and stuff looking for something. Caitlin stood up and marched into the med bay. Harry was on her heels. "HR, what are you doing?" Her voice gave away her emotions as she looked around at the mess he had caused.

The man in question looked at her apologetically, "I'm sorry Caity cat but do you know what I did with my brain scans?" He asked her as he continued on with his search.

Not sure how to answer him Caitlin walked over to where Harry was standing by the door. "What should I do?' She whispered to Harry as he watched his doppelganger with heightened interest.

Looking back at Caitlin, he said, "Keep him talking, maybe he'll tell us something."

She didn't really know how to do that but she decided she would start with the most obvious question. Walking back over to the frantically searching HR, she knelt down in front of him and asked, "Why do you need your brain scans?"

Stopping his search the novelist stared at her but his gaze seemed to go right through her. "I messed up." His voice broke.

Caitlin felt her heart go to the man. Tearing his gaze from her he stood in a panic. She stood as well but wasn't sure what was happening as he gripped his hair in his fist, with his eyes shut he took his other hand and clutched his forehead, screaming.

Harry rushed over and grabbed the man by the shoulders to steady him and lead him over to the bed. The remaining members of Team Flash decided to enter the room and stood watching the scene. As the feeling of shock starts to wear off from HR's sudden outburst, Caitlin hurried to his bedside, checking him over. Then he stopped screaming and shot up out of the bed looking around at his teammates in confusion.

"HR are you okay?" Caitlin spoke softly not wanting to spook the man, who in her opinion was having some serious issues.

Shaking his head he blinked a few times, looking around again. His gaze stopped on Harry who looked concerned and like a light switch, HR smiled again. "Yeah, I'm fine. When did you get here Harrison?" Harry opened his mouth to answer his counterpart but was interrupted by HR, "Wow, what happened in here?" He seemed shocked to see the mess.

Cisco cleared his throat catching HR's attention but she interrupted him, "It was probably Julian looking for something." She remembers how he had snapped at her for suggesting he forgot something he did. Looking around at the mess once more, HR walked back through the door and out the cortex.

_Okay, this is the end of chapter two tell me what you think?_


	3. Confused and Bleeding

_AN: Hi everyone here's the new chapter. I just want to give a shout out to my bata __DancesWithSeatbelts she is the greatest person for fixing my terrible writing and making it readable for you guys. thanks._

After cleaning up the mess HR had made, Caitlin walked back to the cortex to see the novelist talking with an uncomfortable looking Cisco. Looking over at Harry she saw that he was watching, studying his doppelganger very closely.

Walking over she whispered, "Got any theories?" The older man took his eyes off HR and looked at her, a slight frown and squint to his eyes. Shaking his head Caitlin couldn't help but feel slightly worried. What if they never find out what's wrong?

"Hey guys, my dad's invited everyone over for dinner," Iris said as she gathered up her purse heading over to Barry who wrapped his arm around her waist. Everyone agreed to meet up at Joe's, but first Caitlin wanted to speak to Harry who was heading for the exit.

"Hey, wait up."

He stopped and turned to face her with a bewildered expression. Going back to where she was still standing he whispered, "What is it?"

Looking around the room she watched as the rest of the team left. Once they were alone she asked in a worried voice, "Are you sure that it's a good idea for HR to leave?I mean, what if something happens?"

Harry reached out and laid his hand on her shoulder that sent warmth throughout her entire body. "Caitlin,-- " he let out a soft sigh, "--don't worry. If something happens, we'll calm him down." His assurances helped put her mind to rest but she couldn't help but think of possible 'what ifs'. Nodding, she went over to the coat rack and grabbed her jacket.

Sitting in the West household, Caitlin felt the warmth from the people around her as they all laughed and shared stories. The front door swung open, the occupants of the house looked and saw Joe and a strangely quiet Julian following behind him.

"Hope you guys don't mind, we just finished at a horrible car crash." Joe sounded like it had been bad. Caitlin heard Barry ask what happened. The older man ignored the question and walked into the kitchen and filled himself a large glass of whiskey.

Coming back into view he took a large gulp. "It was bad." He seemed to be thinking about his next words carefully. "A distracted driver rammed into a car killing the other driver's wife." Gasps were heard around the room. Everyone had the same look of horror on their faces.

Caitlin looked over at Harry who had his head low. She didn't know why but she reached her hand out and grasped his. Feeling her hand in his he looked at her and gave a small nod. Releasing his hand she saw Julian come from the kitchen with his own drink. He stood beside Caitlin and laid his hand on her shoulder - but instead of the warmth that she'd felt with Harry, she just felt awkward.

"Don't worry, the guy that did this will face justice," Julian announced with confidence. Everyone seemed to agree but then Harry tapped Caitlin on the shoulder. She looked up and saw him jerking his chin in the other direction. Following his gaze, she saw HR sitting in a chair rubbing his eyes.

She was about to get someone else's attention but HR stood up abruptly. All conversation stilled as everyone watched him. No one knew what to do, so they just stared at him waiting for his next move. HR seemed to be confused as he kept looking around the room until his eyes landed on hers. She felt like someone was ripping her heart out with the way he looked at her with such a pained expression.

"Caity cat, I'm so sorry." HR's voice was strained. Julian removed his hand from her shoulder and walked over to the distraught man, who was still staring at her.

Joe asked, "Is this what you were talking about?" She could only assume it was Barry who had said anything.

Cisco nodded and gave a short, "Yep." and then moved to where Julian had been standing.

Now that Julian was in front of him, HR seemed to actually notice the blond because his expression changed to undeniable anger. His whole body seemed to vibrate with that anger. "Justice doesn't exist, but you should know all about that." He spoke with such venom that it scared Caitlin.

Joe was the first to speak up, "Hey guys, calm down alright."

But neither one seemed to hear him as Julian took another step towards the fuming HR and said, "Something is really wrong with you mate."

The situation was turning tense as HR said, "I shouldn't have stopped you that night Caitlin. I should have done this --" and before anyone could get clarification from him, HR pulled out his pend and stabbed Julian in the stomach.

She didn't know exactly what happened next. All she saw was Barry run at HR who was just staring at her but then his gaze shifted to Joe who had moved in front of his daughter. "This is all your fault! You told me we'd get justice, but that never happened!"

Caitlin snapped out of her shock and ran over to the collapsed, bleeding Julian. Crouching, she checked over the wound, no major damage had been done. Harry moved over to where Barry had HR pinned against the wall - still staring daggers at Joe who was completely confused. Cisco moved onto the floor where Caitlin was and grabbed a coat to start applying pressure to the wound.

"We have to take him to a hospital." Caitlin looked to Barry. The speedster caught her pleading gaze. Barry watched HR who's game landed on Harry and something in HR's eyes changed - like he was more focused.

"What happened?" Everyone in the room turned to the confused HR who was looking at Barry who still held him against the wall. Harry gripped the speedster by the shoulder and pulled him away from his doppelganger.

"Take Julian to the hospital. I think I may know what's wrong here," Harry said as Barry slowly removed his hold on HR who was looking at the scene with a dumbfounded expression.

Caitlin looked at the man who caused all of this and who seemed oblivious as to what he'd done.

"Cisco, breach HR back to STAR Labs," Harry ordered the younger man who didn't argue as he walked over to the gobsmacked HR and opened a breach.

Waiting for Barry and Cisco to return, Caitlin wasn't sure what to do or say. She couldn't believe that HR would do something like that.

"What the hell is going on?" Iris was the first to speak up.

Barry came rushing back in as Cisco jumped back through a breach. Everyone's eyes were on the scientist who was rubbing his jaw. Turning to face everyone Harry said, "I believe that HR has blocked out a painful memory that has recently been trying to resurface." Hearing it out loud Caitlin started to connect the dots.

"So you think that this whole time HR is actually smart, he just can't remember?" Cisco asked, taking a seat beside Caitlin on the couch. Harry only nodded at the younger man.

"Yeah, but how did a painful memory block out so much?" Barry held a shocked Iris tighter.

Harry lifted his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I don't know," came Harry's hopeless reply.

_Please leave me a quick review would love to hear your thoughts. _


	4. Nostradamus

_I want to thank my bata DancesWithSeatbelts for helping a lot with this chapter._

Feeling completely worn out by tonight's incident, Caitlin trudged into the kitchen of the West household to make a pot of coffee. Everyone else was still processing what happened and trying to figure out why.

"Hey, you ok?" Looking at the entrance she saw Harry walking closer to her. His expression mirrored her own as he stood beside her, folding his arms across his chest.

Opening the cabinet to retrieve cups, she thought about his question. "Right now, honestly, I think I feel pity for HR more than anything." Caitlin remembered HR's pained expression. He'd been so full of pain. But why?

Unfolding his arms, Harry reached out and grabbed a cup from her and began pouring the much-needed beverage. "Listen, Snow, I'm sorry I didn't listen to your concerns about HR…" His words were growled softly. "I should have listened to you."

Not wanting Harry to think this was somehow his fault, Caitlin reached out her hand and in a reassuring gesture she cupped his face. Looking him in his ocean blue eyes that she seriously thought she could drown in, she said, "Harry, nobody could have predicted what was going to happen." Her voice broke at the thought that here was this brilliant person blaming himself for not listening to her. Self-conscious, she stopped touching him.

He gave her a reassuring nod and much to Caitlin's surprise reached out, pulling her into a welcome, warm embrace. She couldn't help but think about how she could feel his lean but toned physique through the thin sweater he was wearing.

"Thank you," He whispered.

Caitlin wanted to gasp as his soft words sent a shiver down her spine. Hearing the sound of someone clearing their throat made the two pull apart - Iris was standing in the entryway, giving them a weird look, but they ignored it. Caitlin retrieved the coffee pot and walked into the living room followed by Harry carrying the cups.

Taking a seat beside Cisco on the coach, Caitlin waited until everyone else was settled before asking, "How's Julian?"

Barry took a sip of his coffee, then said, "I just got off the phone with the doctor and he thinks Julian is going to be okay."

Caitlin nodded at the new information, glad Julian was going to be okay. She didn't like him enough to want to date him, but she didn't really wish ill on the man.

Joe spoke hesitantly, "I think...maybe, perhaps...until we can figure out what exactly is going on and how to prevent it.. we should put HR in the pipeline."

Caitlin couldn't believe her ears.

Everyone looked at Joe, now close to finishing his whiskey. "You can't be serious?" It was Cisco who spoke up, frowning.

"I agree with Cisco. We can't do that. HR isn't a meta and besides, I don't think he would trust us if we did that." Caitlin's voice resonated with the anger she was feeling.

Harry must have sensed that she was about to blow up at the long-time detective, because he reached out, gently touching her arm. "Caitlin's right. HR might not react well to being locked up..." Removing his hand from her arm, he rubbed his eyes, the movement mirroring HR's from earlier. "I think the best thing to do is find out what triggers these moments." Harry stopped rubbing his eyes and looked around the room.

Cisco offered some hope. "The first time was when we were trying to stop last night's jewelry store criminal, HR clued us in to use magnetism." Caitlin couldn't wrap around her mind around how they'd stopped plenty of metas before, and HR hadn't acted any different with them.

Then something clicked. "Wait - there was a hostage in that situation." She could see Barry nodding his head.

"Yeah, a kid." The speedster spoke up as he recalled the memory.

Iris asked, "What about the second time though, when he was looking for his brain scans?" The room got quiet as everyone tried to think of an answer, but no one seemed to know.

Caitlin was thinking about giving up - but she remembered earlier that day HR had called her something in the hallway at STAR Labs. "Wait, when I was on my way to the cortex to tell Barry and Iris that Harry was coming over, HR was acting strangely."

"Like how?" Harry asked.

She began to think back to the exact moment. "That was the first time he called me Caity Cat which I thought was strange but didn't think too much of it. He just seems the type to give people pet names." Everyone looked at her weirdly. "You know what he's like, he's never met a person he didn't want to befriend!"

"Did he say anything else?" Barry asked, worry foremost in his expression.

Thinking deeper, she remembered that HR looked at her like he regretted something. "I asked if he was okay because he seemed like something was wrong but he said he was always okay." Caitlin wished she had paid closer attention. If only right there she had asked him a question, or distracted him, or just - something!

Letting out a sigh, Harry stood up and started walking around the room, deep in thought. "So no one knows what triggered that one?" Harry started rubbing his jaw. "Nobody?!"

"Wally might know," Iris said looking up from her drink. "He was the last one to speak with him." She looked at Barry to confirm her story. The speedster quickly agreed with his fiancee.

"Where is Wally?" Caitlin asked, she hadn't noticed the younger man's absence in the chaos of the evening.

Setting his mostly drained glass on the coffee table, Joe answered her question. "He said he was going to see some friends back home."

"I don't know about anyone else, but I feel like we're not going to get anywhere with just the information we have..." Barry's voice was full of regret. "Maybe, we need to wait for it to happen again."

Caitlin could tell she wasn't the only one who thought that was a stupid suggestion as she looked around the room, seeing upset faces. Her eyes rested on Cisco who was oddly quiet, using his phone, confused about something on the screen. "Hey, Cisco what is it?"

Prying his eyes from the device he looked at her with worry written on his face, making her stomach drop. Uneasily he said, "I just got a weird message."

Everybody's attention was on the young engineer, waiting with pent breath for a response. "What's the message Cisco?" Harry had his hands clenched into fists, his pacing had brought him almost to the kitchen. He pivoted and made his way back over to Caitlin.

Caitlin could feel her stomach roil and tighten into knots watching Cisco pull up the message onto his screen.

Cisco sighed and spoke slowly. "It says I know who HR Wells really is. I can help you. CW."

_please leave reviews and tell me your thoughts. _


	5. Field Trip

_Here's the new chapter. I want to thank my bata DancesWithSeatbelts._

Caitlin had a lot on her mind as she entered Cisco's workspace, finding the young engineer at his computer and Harry in front of a glass board. "Hey, did you find anything new about the message?" The two men looked in her direction; exhaustion had painted dark circles under their eyes. She hoped they hadn't worked all night on this, but knowing them, it was almost dead certain they had.

"No, but we found out that HR never sleeps," Cisco said reaching for his coffee.

Caitlin furrowed her brows. "Never sleeps?"

Harry clarified, "He was singing half the night and then the other half he was walking around mumbling to himself."

After gulping most of his drink, Cisco yawned, put the mug back on the table and continued on with his work.

Caitlin couldn't help but be worried. If HR wasn't resting well that could be very dangerous. Sleep deprivation was a terrible thing. Her face must've revealed her emotions because Harry said, "Hey don't worry, we're going to figure out where this message came from and hopefully they can help us."

Nodding her head, Caitlin turned around and headed to the cortex. She was about halfway there when she saw someone sitting on the ground, slumped against the wall. Coming closer Caitlin recognized HR with his head lowered. She could only pray that he wasn't having another moment.

Moving beside him, she hesitantly reached out and touched him, saying his name. The novelist about jumped out of his skin which made Caitlin jump as well.

"Caity Cat!" HR was loud, his response confirmed he wasn't thinking clearly, or else he'd know they didn't have that kind of relationship for pet names. Standing, he looked at her with melancholy in his eyes. She wished she could read his mind. What makes someone _that_ sad?

Worry made Caitlin's stomach begin to knot, she couldn't help but ask, "Are you okay?" Caitlin expected him to say he was fine like he did last time, but to her complete shock or maybe she imagined it, HR gave a small shake of his head. Feeling her heart go out to him she stepped closer and slowly wrapped her arms around him.

For the first few seconds, HR did nothing - just stood there like a statue. When she started to pull away she was stopped short as he finally reacted and pulled her back into the embrace. Caitlin could feel his body shaking like he was laughing but she didn't hear any laughter. Instead, what she did hear broke her heart, broken sobs.

Rubbing his back, Caitlin decided to let him cry it out. So far he had been non-vocal, except for the sniffling and sobs. So when he finally did speak, it surprised her.

His voice was hoarse. "I am so sorry."

Pulling away and looking up at his red and puffy eyes she saw that he looked quite troubled about something. "Sorry for what?" Caitlin pleaded, hoping HR would open up to her.

HR stared at her for what seemed like forever. His bleak eyes had a far off look to them, he was a million miles away. His voice cracked when he finally spoke. "I can't remember."

Turning away from Caitlin, HR walked with sagging shoulders down the hallway, heading to his room. Caitlin debated whether or not she should go after him, but decided against it. She didn't want to pressure him while he was in that state - it could be dangerous. So she continued on her way to the cortex.

Once there, she could see Barry pacing the room, and Iris sitting in front of a computer monitor looking at a wedding website. Noticing her presence first, the speedster gave her a small wave. "Hey." Iris turned around and gave her a bright smile.

Caitlin returned the smile but before she could say anything, Iris pointed to her shirt and asked, "What happened?" Looking down she saw a wet spot on her shoulder where HR had just cried his eyes out.

The couple looked at her expectantly. "It's fine, just HR acting weird again." She hoped her tone was nonchalant, but she knew it was a big deal, especially after what happened last night. Caitlin didn't think Barry and Iris would care so much. She was wrong - they both rushed over and asked if she was okay.

"Don't worry, he didn't do anything, he just cried." Walking past them, she took her own seat in front of the monitor. Bringing it to life, Caitlin was shocked to see that it was opened to a news website about last night's car accident, the one that triggered HR's episode leading him to stab Julian. Reading through the article she saw that the victim was a woman named Audrey, aged thirty-two and daughter, Neva aged ten.

Before she could think any more on the news article she heard Cisco say, "Guys we got something." He was entering the room followed closely by a scowling Harry.

Closing the article she turned to find everybody waiting to hear news of any discovery. Harry spoke first. "The message had a familiar algorithm so Cisco ran it through the STAR Labs previous messages. It originated from Earth-19."

Barry said, "So someone on Earth-19 wants to talk to us?" His voice was thin with worry.

Caitlin couldn't blame him, they had trusted Jay and he turned out to be Zoom. Shaking her head clear of the memory, Caitlin focused on the conversation again to hear Harry say, "I think two of us should go to Earth-19 and talk to this person."

She thought it was a good idea but she was the only one, because everyone else started talking over each other. Caitlin was only able to catch Cisco holler, "Are you crazy! What if this person is dangerous!?"

Harry quickly held up his hands, waving to stop all the protest. His pleading blue eyes caught Caitlin's.

Feeling he was right and also that he looked adorable, Caitlin spoke up, "I think Harry's right." Everyone turned to her. Their eyes seemed to say 'Are you crazy?'

Harry pointed at her and said with determination, "There, you see." But their team still looked unconvinced.

So Caitlin said, "Guys, come on, this is the only way to help HR." The mention of the man in need made them all look away from her. She spoke louder, with conviction. "Guys, he really needs our help."

All three shared a look. Barry said in a defeated voice, "Fine, but who goes?" Caitlin looked at Harry who was staring at her, a questioning gleam to his blue eyes.

Taking that as a hint she said, "Why don't Harry and I go?" The scientist had a small smile on his face when she spoke. Caitlin could tell that no one else thought that it was a good idea for them to leave.

Cisco sputtered,"I'm sorry, what?" His voice rose an octave.

Thinking that everyone was overreacting she looked to Harry for help who rolled his eyes and said angrily, "Only Caitlin and I can go. Barry works with CCPD and the city cannot go without the Flash." His argument worked, the others backed down.

"Fine, but be careful," Iris said.

Harry and Caitlin nodded. Harry said, "Meet you in the speed lab, in let's say, five minutes?"

Standing, Caitlin went to her office and retrieved her coat and a small bag with a few supplies. You could never tell what you might need. Walking back out she started on her way to meet Harry at the speed lab.

Arriving, she could see Harry was already there with his backpack on and his pulse rifle slung over his shoulder.

"Okay, if you two aren't back in two hours, I'm breaching over there," Cisco warned as he put on his glasses. Caitlin stood next to Harry as Barry and Iris wished them luck.

She felt oddly elated as Harry grabbed her hand, giving her extra support. Harry was staring straight ahead with a firm set to his lips. Cisco opened the breach, Caitlin squeezed Harry's hand before jumping through, wishing she had the right to hold on to him at any time.

When they got to the other side it was bitterly cold and dark. Harry let go of her hand, to which she couldn't help but feel a pang of regret and miss his warmth. Reaching into his bag he retrieved two flashlights, handing one to her. Clicking them on, they swept across the room but before she could really identify anything in the dingy room, Caitlin heard Harry shout and push her to the ground just as something pierced a glass beaker, shattering it.

"What was that?" She felt panic rise unchecked. Harry looked scared as well, which didn't help her.

His expression changed from fear to regret. His voice trembled as he said, "It's Killer Frost."

_just wanted to say that your reviews keep me motivated and I recently quit smoking and this story has really helped keep me focused. Please review._


	6. Caity Cat Out of the Bag

Panic spread throughout Caitlin's entire body as she ran from her icy doppelganger's attack; Harry, right behind, yelled instructions about where to go and hide. Regret was a major force clamouring inside herself - why'd she insist on coming along? The feeling of relief was strong when Caitlin turned a corner and saw they were almost to the door - maybe an exit? That relief died when the door was engulfed in an ice wall.

Turning around they saw what had to be Earth -19's Killer Frost staring at them, smirking. The thing that sent shivers down Caitlin's spine though, was the look in Frost's piercing blue eyes. Before she could think on that too much, Harry grabbed her by the wrist and pulled Caitlin behind him, becoming a barrier between herself and Killer Frost.

Caitlin watched, holding her breath like that would keep her safe as Killer Frost stalked closer. At arm's length Harry tensed up, ready to shoot. Caitlin could feel her own alter-ego coming to the surface, eager to do battle, but also… Hesitant? About to fully morph and shove Harry to the side for his own good, Killer Frost paused and sank back down inside of Caitlin's consciousness.

Earth - 19's Killer Frost sounded shaky as she spoke for the first time. "HR?" With her pale hand, she reached out to brush Harry's arm with the lightest of touches and then engulfed him into a passionate hug while Harry stood motionless in shock.

"Wait - you're not my husband!" Killer Frost pushed Harry away who stumbled and lowered his gun.

Caitlin moved from behind her protector and looked at her doppelganger who was staring at Harry in distrust and confusion. "You and HR are married?" Caitlin wanted to demand answers, but she couldn't trust her voice.

Killer Frost turned her gaze to Caitlin. "I guess the cats out of the bag as they say, or is that an Earth-19 only thing?" She joked and her lips twisted into a tortured mimicry of a smile.

Feeling that Frost was less of a threat now, Caitlin stepped closer, filled with wonder to be looking at herself and yet not-herself. She'd always been too scared trying to suppress this side of herself to look at her image when overtaken by her powers - but now, it was a surreal experience that was going to happen whether she willed it or not, so she may as well observe fully.

"Oh, and if his hugs with you are as lacklustre as the one he gave me just now, you should dump him," Killer Frost drawled, pointing and smirking at Harry who rolled his eyes at the fatuous warning. "Nothing worse than a man who can't put in some effort into affection."

Caitlin felt her cheeks burn, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. She had to ask, "But why did you attack us?"

Biting her lip, Killer Frost clapped her hands, saying apologetically, "Sorry about that!" Her smirk turned into a winsome smile. "I thought you were Randolph."

At first, the name didn't click with Caitlin until she remembered HR had talked about his business partner. Before she could ask why Randolph would do something like that, Harry held up his hand and changed the subject. "More importantly, you said in your message that you can help us with HR?"

Killer Frost turned her head to the side. Caitlin knew this wasn't going to be easy. Taking a step back, Frost lifted her gaze back to the pair, her eyes mirrored and shuttered like that of her husband's. Frost choked back tears, saying, "Yeah...but I need to show you something first."

The small group was quiet as they left the cold room and entered what appeared to be a living room. Gazing avidly around, something on the mantle caught Caitlin's eye. She stalked closer, a picture of HR with a bright smile plastered on his face was what she wanted to look at. But this one seemed different than the ones she'd seen before. This picture screamed genuine happiness - like she was seeing him smile for the first time. Also, in the picture was a Killer Frost who glowed with love. But that wasn't the only thing that made her want to get a better look - it was the little girl posed with them. She looked to be about three, her brown hair was put up in pigtails and her smile was so big you could barely make out her eye color. Undoubtedly a family portrait.

"Snow?" Harry's voice pulled her gaze from the photo. He looked concerned but she gave him a reassuring smile. Walking away from the mantle she continued to follow Killer Frost to the garage where they all got into a well maintained late model black car.

As they left the driveway, Caitlin looked over at Harry beside her in the backseat who was deeply lost in his private thoughts. Reaching over, she patted his knee and gave him a small nod. He returned her gestures with a small but reassuring smile. Removing her hand, Caitlin saw Killer Frost give her a knowing smile in the rearview mirror, making Caitlin blush. Heart hammering insanely hard, Caitlin wondered exactly how this version of Earth had allowed Killer Frost and HR to become a couple. Forcing her eyes outside the car, Caitlin decided to try to calm, focusing on the scenery of the drive.

Earth-19 didn't look that different from Earth prime. There were stores, and apartment buildings, plazas and parks. The vehicles on the road looked not very different from the concept cars showcased in Detroit during the car shows there. Love of coffee made her search for the familiar C.C. Jitters logo, mild surprise greeting her to see it was a book store here. When the car came to a stop, they were at an abandoned warehouse. Exiting, she couldn't help but feel a prickle of unease race down her spine like she was about to step into something private. Harry stood beside her, with his pulse rifle slung over his broad shoulder. Strong, broad shoulders and nicely muscled arms, capable of being fierce or tender. Caitlin mentally slapped herself - now was so not the time to be lusting after her friend.

"It's right in here." Killer Frost unlocked the chain from the door, throwing it open, turning on the lights and inviting her guests inside.

Stepping closer she was grateful Harry was beside her, because his solid presence gave her more courage. The first thing Caitlin noticed was the mangled car in the center of the room like it was on display. Walking around the car she could see the dent on the passenger side where the vehicle had suffered an impact with something, perhaps another car? Making her way around, she could also see where the rear of the car was smashed clear into the backseat. Feeling her stomach knotting with dread, Caitlin tore her eyes away from the mangled machine and looked at Harry who was staring at the car with his mouth open, eyes wide and glassy.

"Oh... my... God..." Harry said in disbelief.

Looking around the room, Caitlin saw Killer Frost, on the other side of the room, like she was hiding, at the very least avoiding looking at the car. Frost's gaze was focused on a whiteboard with pictures and papers, but Caitlin couldn't make out anything from where she was standing.

Caitlin pointed to the destroyed car. "Is this what caused HR's memory lapse?" Her question was asked softly, almost timidly as she walked towards Frost.

Unable to look at the board any more, Killer Frost studied the ground. Her voice was thick and strained. "No, but it led to him doing what caused it."

Before Caitlin could question Frost further on what she meant, one of the pictures on display jumped out at her. Now that she was closer she could clearly make out the details of the pictures, and what she saw - now - everything made sense.

"Harry, come look at this!" wonder and disbelief colored her voice. On the board were pictures of the whole team. Julian - Murderer, Barry Allen - Judge, Cisco Ramon - Paramedic, Wally West - Witness, Joe West - Prosecutor and Iris West - Detective.

"What does this mean, what happened?" Harry didn't try to disguise the tremor in his voice.

Tearing her eyes from the photos of her team's doppelgangers, Caitlin looked at Earth - 19's version of herself, who had icy tears welling in her eyes.

Killer Frost took a shallow breath and then spoke, her voice cracking, "Our d-daughter Neva was killed in this accident." Frost let out a piercing cry and her whole body started to shake as sobs poured from the depths of her soul.

_I would like to thank my Beta (just found out I've been spelling it wrong bit that's ok.)__please leave your reviews._


	7. Memory Lane

Walking into the cortex Cisco couldn't help but worry as he waited for Harry and Caitlin to return - hopefully with good news. Settling himself in front of a computer he brought the screen to life, reading from the news website immediately visible; an article about last night's unfortunate car accident that had triggered poor HR. Before even the thought of figuring out who had been reading that, a frantic HR came running into the room, almost yelping, "I need to find them!"

Standing up, Cisco slowly approached his friend, not wanting to startle him. Soft and soothing, he asked, "Hey HR, what's going on?"

Some of HR's obvious tension flowed out of his body and he slouched. "I'm looking for my brain scans."

Cisco's stomach dropped and curdled. HR was having a 'moment' and he wasn't sure what to do. Why did this have to happen now? Thinking he had to get some kind of help he pulled his phone from his pocket to text Barry, asking him to get there quickly. In a reassuring flash, Cisco felt the rush of air signaling the speedster's presence.

"What's going on?" was the first thing Barry said.

Cisco motioned at HR who was looking at Barry with wide eyes and furrowed brows. "How did you do that?" HR tilted his head to the side and let out a gust of breath. "How?" The pure curiosity and confusion in his question made both Cisco and Barry apprehensive.

Even more panic roiled in Cisco's gut. After rubbing his eyes he changed the conversation. "HR, why do you need your brain scans?"

That pulled HR back to what he wanted, because HR looked at Cisco, ignoring Barry for the time being. "It doesn't really matter if I can't find them because you can just do them again." He sounded very confident.

Cisco was baffled at the insinuation that he'd be able to run a brain scan.

Before he could question the novelist further, Iris came rushing into the room asking, "Is everything alright?"

Walking over to his fiance Barry whispered in her ear what was happening. She immediately blanched to see the man causing all the commotion was now staring at herself with intensity.

"Did you catch him yet, detective?" HR sounded hopeful.

"Dude, did you take something special in your coffee? Are you feeling okay?" Cisco frowned and shook his head at HR. "Joe's the detective. What's gotten into you?" The penny dropped and Cisco asked a question that might bust HR's mystery open. "HR, who do you think we are?"

Folding his arms across his chest HR stared at Cisco as if he was questioning him. "If you're asking about my state of mind, I'm fine. You're the one who doesn't remember coffee has been an extinct crop for decades." His voice was both amused and confident as he held Cisco's gaze. "But just to prove it to you, I'll play along." He stretched his arms straight and pointed to Barry saying, "Judge Allen." Moving on he pointed to Iris. "Detective West." Finally, he pointed to Cisco. "And Cisco Ramon, paramedic." Dropping his hand to his side with a flourish, HR gave them all a smug look that said, 'see, I know'. "But what are you two doing here?" He asked, pointing between Barry and Iris.

Cisco felt a headache coming on, then an idea came to him. Taking a step forward he motioned for HR to follow him. Walking into the med bay, he hoped he could buy them some time for Harry and Caitlin to get back. They needed answers - answers and a hell of a lot of hope.

"Why don't you go ahead and lay back on the bed for me." Cisco couldn't stop the tremor in his voice, this was uncharted territory for him. As he watched HR climb up on the bed Cisco couldn't stop his nerves, rubbing his suddenly chilled hands.

"Do you think you could contact my wife for me?" HR's voice broke as he spoke. "She's got to be so frantic, I need her."

Looking at the unshed tears in the older man's eyes Cisco felt a pang of sadness. Clapping HR on the shoulder, the familiar feeling of a vibe washed over him. The room around him flashed and then the scene changed - he was now standing in the middle of a street. Looking around Cisco saw a smashed black car. Walking closer he could feel his stomach knotting up. In the driver's seat was HR. The man was conscious but in a lot of pain as he gripped his ribcage.

Cisco watched the scene unfold, a young familiar face running up to the car. What had to be Wally's doppelganger looked panicked as he reached into the car and asked in a loud voice, "You okay? Hey man! Stay awake for me. The ambulance is on the way."

HR nodded and looked around frantically. "I'm forgetting something." His voice was soft and slurred, something was wrong. Wally shook his head and told him to stay still but HR began moving his head wildly, searching around for something.

The sirens from the approaching ambulance pulled Cisco's eyes from the scene in front of him. Looking towards the sound he saw the other car - the one that had struck HR's vehicle. Everything started to come together as he saw what had to be Julian's double stumble out of the car, distress and regret painted on his face. A week's worth of scruff and a malnourished mustache gave this Julian an even bigger unsavoury appearance.

The ambulance came to a stop and Cisco watched in disbelief as his own doppelganger (with an amazing perm) jumped from the back and ran to the car assessing HR's injuries. "You're going to be okay." Cisco of Earth-19 spoke in a firm but comforting tone. That didn't seem to matter to HR though, because he kept trying to move. His eyes were glazed-over, wildly scanning around and panic-stricken.

HR winced, jerking away from Cisco. "I'm telling you, I know I'm forgetting something!" His shout was thin and pained. Cisco realized something was very wrong with this vibe. When he tried to look at the back end of the car it was like someone had covered his vision; he couldn't see anything past the front seat - it was like looking at a very grainy security video.

Coming out of the vibe, Cisco's heart raced. HR was craning his head, confused. "How did I get here?" Ignoring the question Cisco left the med bay in search of Barry who was waiting in the cortex with Iris.

Noticing him the speedster asked, "Is everything alright?"

Shaking his head Cisco took a seat, rubbing his forehead.

"What happened?" came the next question. Both Barry and Iris spoke at the same time: "Is HR okay?"

Thinking about it Cisco looked up and said, "The vibe - something was wrong with it."

Barry looked at him confused so he elaborated. "I touched HR and I had a vibe. I could see the entire scene except for one thing."

The couple in front of him looked perplexed. "In the vibe, HR was in an accident but his words didn't match what his lips were saying and the back of the car was, like grainy," Cisco explained. "I don't know what happened."

Barry opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by an icy voice. "That's because of the memory being tampered with." Turning around Cisco felt his whole body get chills as he stared at Killer Frost at the entrance of the room followed by worried looking Harry and Caitlin.

**_Thank you to Danceswithseatbelts for helping me with this chapter. Please leave your thoughts. _**


	8. Gone, But Not Forgotten

Harry strode with confidence into HR and Killer Frost's home, taking in all the homey touches. Lots of pillows, rustic furniture and bookshelves crammed with leather bound tomes. The color pallette was a mix of soothing soft blues and creams, the walls liberally decorated with photos - most of them of Neva, their adopted daughter. Thinking about it now, with additional information, Harry could understand HR's desire to stab Julian. If anything like that had happened to Jessie, if her life had ended senselessly in an accident - he knew he'd have done the same thing - except he would have shot the little weasel.

"Anybody want Big Belly Burger?" Killer Frost spoke for the first time since the reveal.

Harry caught Caitlin's eyes, those big, beautiful, brown eyes. Mentally shaking himself he turned back to their host. "Yeah, sure. I never turn down perfection."

Harry followed the women into the dining room, taking a seat next to an oddly quiet Caitlin.

Frost turned around, starting to leave the room and said over her shoulder to her guests, "I just need to go get something."

While they waited for Killer Frost to return, Harry said, "You're awfully quiet." His voice must have snapped her back to reality because her head jerked in his direction.

"I'm fine." Cailin rubbed her upper arms and sighed.

Bullshit. Caitlin being all timid and unsure of herself was plain old wrong. "Come on, I know when there's something bothering you. What is it?" asked Harry. He couldn't stop how worried he sounded.

Caitlin took a deep breath and opened her mouth, "I just can't help but ask myself, what would I have done in that situation?" Her voice trembled.

Slowly reaching out, Harry laid his hand on her arm. He really wanted to engulf her in a hug and take a deep breath of her heavenly perfume - but right now wasn't appropriate. "Honestly, I don't know either." Harry knew that wasn't what Caitlin wanted to hear, but he couldn't bring himself to lie to her.

"Do doubles sound good?" Killer Frost returned and spoke up from the corner of the room.

Looking at the woman's icy blue eyes, Harry nodded. She started typing out their order on a tablet, then pulled out what he assumed was a round credit card. Inserting it into the bottom of the device, Killer Frost seemed to be waiting for something to happen as she stared at the screen intently. It beeped and she removed the card.

"You wanted to know what happened, for HR to lose his memories?" Killer Frost took a seat at the head of the table, next to Caitlin.

"Yes." Curiosity was topmost in Harry's tone. He catalogued the differences between his Caitlin and HR's wife - as incredible as it sounded, their doubles had met, fallen in love and married. They were more alike than not - and it was making his head ache. Harry wished he had half the luck that HR must've had to gain Frost's love.

Killer Frost took a deep breath, the action matching that of the woman beside him. "HR couldn't handle what happened." Her voice started to crack,; wetting her lips, she gulped, blowing out a shuddering stream of air. "He wanted to forget." Killer Frost's voice trembled and her eyes, as glacial as they were - misted over.

Harry couldn't help the sympathy growing in his gut for HR and Killer Frost.

"So, he asked his business partner Randolph, to help."

He didn't like where this was headed.

"How could Randolph help?" Caitlin asked, her voice strained and tight; entirely focused on her doppelganger.

"He had a device that was supposed to only dampen the memory of the accident for a short time, but I think he purposely used it to force HR to forget almost everything."

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Why? How? But again, why?"

Killer Frost paused before speaking, pouring hard thought into her next words, staring at Harry. "Maybe he wanted HR out of the picture."

Before their conversation could continue there was a beep from the tablet. Killer Frost picked it up and brought the screen to life, reading the information sent, she cut the device off and left the room. Caitlin and Harry were alone once more.

Harry could feel his stomach turn queasy as he thought about HR, ashamed of considering him to be just some moron. A hand on his arm made Harry lift his head and met Caitlin's brown irises, a question dwelling deep within. Knowing what she was going to say, Harry said, "I'm fine." Turning his head away he started to rub his eyes. Then to his surprise, Caitlin moved her hand to his back and began to rub in a soothing, circular motion around his shoulder blades. It took everything in him not to moan.

"Okay, food's here - sorry if it's a little squished. The drones sometimes just drop them when they get to the door." At the sound of Killer Frost's voice, Caitlin quickly removed her hand - much to Harry's disappointment.

"You have drones delivering food on this earth?" Caitlin asked, wonder coloring her voice.

Killer Frost opened the bag, the strong aroma of greasy hamburgers hitting Harry's senses and that's when he realized he hadn't had anything to eat all day.

"Yeah. Don't you have that on your earth?" Killer Frost was openly curious.

Taking the offered burger, Caitlin looked at her hands as she unwrapped the food. "Um, no we don't. Companies have been working on it though." She set her food down and looked up at her double. "They're getting close to solving the issues…There's a lot of good applications for the technology..."

Harry found Caitlin's enthusiasm adorable. Taking the offered food, he unwrapped the paper and took a huge bite. The taste didn't really differ from that of his earth - or Earth-1 he noted. The burger patty was juicy and the lettuce and tomato tasted fresh. The cheese was melted perfectly and the condiments didn't overpower the taste. Hunger and needing a distraction makes a person think about the oddest things.

Caitlin said, "I think there's one thing I can be sure about in the multiverse."

Peering over at Caitlin, Harry watched as she stuck her finger in her mouth, licking off the ketchup. The action definitely brought some images to Harry's mind.

"What's that?" Killer Frost stared at her twin with mild curiosity.

Happy that nobody could read his mind, Harry still forced his inappropriate thoughts into slumber.

"That every Earth has a Big Belly Burger." Caitlin giggled.

Gulping, Harry decided to focus on his food.

Silence engulfed the room as they all enjoyed their meals. Caitlin finished hers and asked, "How did you get the name Caity Cat?"

The question must have caught her off guard because Killer Frost started to cough on her food. She grabbed her drink and gulped as much as she could. With a look of disgust, she cleared her throat and set the paper cup down.

Looking at Harry, Killer Frost pointed to her drink and said in a strained voice, "Could you go in the kitchen and bring me back some sugar? I swear those people don't know what sweet tea is."

Nodding, he quickly stood up and gave her a questioning look. Knowing what he was asking, Killer Frost pointed to the door behind her.

On the other side of the door, Harry stood there for a moment debating where he should look first when Killer Frost's hushed but panicked voice caught his ear. "Wait, did HR call you that in public?"

Harry knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but he couldn't stop himself from listening.

"Why? What does it mean?" asked Caitlin.

He could feel his curiosity pique.

"Well, when HR and I were intimate the first time it was on Halloween and I was dressed like a sexy cat."

Harry felt himself smirking imagining the blush that was no doubt covering Caitlin's face right now. Deciding that he had heard enough Harry was about to start his search for the sugar when once again Killer Frost spoke in a teasing tone, "I'm sure you and your Harry get up to some wild things too." Harry could feel his heart beating loudly and hoped the wild thumping couldn't be heard.

"Oh, we're not together."

The words pierced through him like a knife. Turning away from the door Harry continued to stand there but he didn't know why.

"Really?" Came Killer Frost's response. "Could've fooled me."

Putting his ear back to the door, abandoning his pride, Harry listened closely.

"Why?" Caitlin sounded perplexed.

"I mean the little touches between you two, and the longing looks." Killer Frost sounded like she was enjoying this. "Come on, admit it! You like him. For two people who aren't together, you sure can't go five minutes without physical contact."

Harry waited; his heart and the blood surging in his veins were the only things he could hear. Then finally he heard what was the answer to his deeply buried longings. "Okay, fine! Yes. But I don't think he likes me that way." Harry felt like he was floating. Releasing the breath he didn't know he was holding, he turned around and walked to the counter in the middle of the large space, found the container labeled sugar and grabbed it.

Harry was met with silence upon his return to the dining room. The women stared at him, oblivious to what he'd overheard. Setting the container down next to Killer Frost he said, "I think we should be heading back before Cisco breaches over here."

Caitlin nodded and stood. "Why don't you come back with us?" She gave her doppelganger an encouraging smile.

Killer Frost closed the lid on her drink. "Okay, I'll go." She sounded hopeful. On her feet, Killer Frost looked at Harry saying, "Can you go in the hallway closet? It's the third door on your right and retrieve my bag - it's on the top shelf?"

He nodded, leaving to head down the hallway; finding the closet, he opened the door. At the top Harry saw a big blue bag. Grabbing it, he closed the door. On his way back to the dining room Harry noticed a door partially open. Treading slowly, he made his way closer, pushing it open to look inside. Instantly he knew whose room it was… Whose room it had been. A large amount of toys and what looked like crystal statues - of teddy bears, angels, and horses were scattered all over. Harry reached out and ghosted his hand over one of the teddy bear statues and to his shock, he found that it wasn't crystal. It was exquisitely crafted ice. Feeling his stomach twist in knots Harry lowered his hand and closed the door, silently praying forgiveness for his inadvertent trespass.

_Thank You to Danceswithseatbelts. Please leave your reviews I love reading them._


	9. ReflectionA Memory

Caitlin could imagine the air in the room chilling to absolute zero as she felt the tension in the room grow as the team stared at a nervous Killer Frost standing off to the side with her bags.

Moving to the front, Harry met each team member's eyes and motioned to their guest. "Before you say anything, hear her out first."

Cisco stepped forward, gesturing between Killer Frost and Caitlin, asking, "How can you trust her when you're trying to stop yourself from becoming her?"

Feeling the need to defend Killer Frost, Caitlin stood beside the woman, giving her team a heated look. "That's not fair, Cisco. My issues aren't part of what's going on right now."

Harry took long strides to stand close to Caitlin and spoke in a determined voice. "Different earth, different person." He took a deep breath and continued airing his thoughts. "I mean, I didn't judge you--" he pointed at Cisco, "--when your doppelganger, Reverb, was evil on my earth."

Suddenly the floor was very interesting to an ashamed Cisco. Barry looked at Killer Frost, saying in the kind way he had, "Okay, tell us what happened."

Caitlin could see that the woman was nervous - she'd never seen any version of Killer Frost so pale and hesitant to speak - so she gave her a reassuring nod. Killer Frost bit her cheek before she edged forward. Now in the center of the room, she looked around at the team of people staring at her. "HR and I are married, have been for about seven years now." Her voice hitched. "We adopted a little girl and named her Neva." Killer Frost took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "She died in a car accident, caused by Julian, and when Julian fled the country, HR blamed himself. He blamed himself so much that he asked Randolph to help him dampen the memory. But instead, Randolph made him forget everything. Everything! Including our entire relationship." Killer Frost's voice broke - making Caitlin want to give her a hug.

Caitlin saw Harry staring at her, looking worried. Deciding that now was not the time to ask him what was wrong, she looked at her team again. They all had their heads low, regretting judging Killer Frost.

"Okay, so how do we help HR?" Cisco asked, watching Killer Frost with unfeigned sympathy.

Going back over to her bags, Killer Frost picked up the blue one - Caitlin remembered Harry fetching that one. In the center of the room she unzipped the bag, revealing what looked to be a helmet - vaguely like a high tech bicycle helmet - albeit with wires and lights.

"What is that?" Harry asked. Caitlin couldn't help but feel her curiosity pique too as she looked at the strange item.

Killer Frost turned the device in her hands saying, "It's a memory viewer."

Iris settled her hands on her hips, giving Earth-19's version of Killer Frost a confused look. "The what now?"

"It's a device that will allow us to see HR's memories."

Cisco held out his hands. "Do you mind if I take a look?" Caitlin and Harry exchanged smiles - of course, he'd want to have a better look.

Noticing that the man they were discussing was nowhere to be seen, Caitlin wondered where he could be. "Hey guys, where's HR?"

Not wanting to take his eyes from the device, Cisco pointed in the direction of the medical bay. "Oh, he's in the med bay."

Hearing this, Killer Frost's stomach clenched and panic spread throughout her body. "What happened!?" Caitlin was her echo - looking at one another they mirrored almost exact anguished expressions.

Harry was silent, deep in thought. Caitlin wanted more than anything to be able to read Harry's mind - his brows were so furrowed - if only she had some clue about his thoughts and feelings.

"Nothing! He was just acting weird again." Cisco finally stopped examining the new tech to notice their worried expressions and respond.

"How does this thing work?" Barry's question pulled Caitlin from her wool-gathering.

Killer Frost took the device from Cisco and placed it back in the bag. "Well, HR needs to be asleep so we'll be able to see his memories better." She sighed. "Then we hook it up to a computer, put in the date of the accident and see what pops up."

Caitlin felt that wasn't everything. The method of how to use it was simple - but exactly what would it do to HR's brain? Nothing was ever as easy as first it seemed...

"Then what?" Harry asked.

Killer Frost forced herself to keep talking. "If the memory isn't what it's supposed to be, we apply a small shock to his brain."

Iris and Caitlin locked gazes, silently communicating - 'that sounded dangerous!'

"Alright let's do it," Harry said determinedly, "If this is the only way to get his memories back let's give it a try."

Caitlin felt like she had to speak up. "That sounds really dangerous - what if we just make it worse?" She could hear her own voice shaking.

Licking his lips Harry, turned and snapped at her. "Caitlin, this is the only way. No one else knows what to do."

Feeling hurt from his tone, Caitlin looked around the room, hoping to find some support, sighing when no one else spoke up. "Fine."

Caitlin went to the med bay to talk to HR, she could feel someone came to stand beside her - looking out the corner of her eye, she saw Harry. She stopped and pivoted to face him with her full attention. "Got something else to add?"

Harry coughed and cleared his voice, speaking softly and apologetically, "I'm sorry for snapping at you. I just…" Harry sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. Opening them again, he continued. "I think it's unfair what happened and I really want to help HR. This is the only thing we have at our disposal."

Caitlin's heart was hammering in her chest as she swam in his blue eyes. Reaching out, she gently touched his arm. "I know, we all do, but I don't want to cause more damage."

Harry nodded. "I know, but this might be the only way to help him. We don't have time to reverse engineer the device to make it safer, and if HR's wife is giving the okay...what more do we need?"

Caitlin closed her eyes, letting her pent breath release, then said: "Alright, let's do this." Somewhere deep inside herself, Caitlin knew she'd do whatever she could - if she were in the same position as Killer Frost.

Inside the med bay HR was rummaging through papers, making an ungodly mess. "HR, what're you doing?" Caitlin bit the corner of her lips and restrained the annoyed sigh that threatened to rise. She'd need hours to fix such a level of disarray.

Turning to face both of them, HR smiled brightly and said, "I was just looking for my drumsticks. Have you seen them?"

Okay, he seems like he's not having a moment. Taking a few more steps closer, Caitlin spoke tentatively, "We need your help doing an experiment."

He seemed more than happy to help as HR eagerly nodded and almost shouted his answer, "Yeah! Sounds like fun."

Pointing to the bed, Caitlin said, "Okay, good, we're going to need you to lie down."

"Okay, but no funny business." He joked as he walked over to the bed and laid down.

From the supply cabinet, Caitlin grabbed the things she would need, filling a syringe with general anesthesia. Now beside her reclined patient, Caitlin's heart raced with worry. What if something went wrong? Pushing the intrusive thought aside she stuck the needle into HR's arm and injected the medicine. The man lost consciousness quicker than she expected. Probably because he hasn't been sleeping at night - she remembered Cisco and Harry had said something about that.

"Is he asleep?" Caitlin didn't have to turn around to know that it was Killer Frost asking - she sounded worried.

Nodding her head, Caitlin turned and watched as the other woman slowly came closer, her icy eyes never leaving her husband's sleeping face. "Let's get started."

Pulling the memory viewer from the bag, Killer Frost walked to the bed and put the device on his head. She instructed, "Harry, take that cord from the bag and hook it up to the computer." He did so and Killer Frost plugged the other end into the top of the memory viewer device. A blue light glowed from the front of the device. "Okay, Harry you should be able to see something." Killer Frost walked over to look at the screen. "That's not right. This never would have happened." She toggled a switch.

The woman's words caused Caitlin's stomach to tighten in knots. What was wrong? Before she could voice her concerns, HR started having a seizure on the bed, his arms and legs flailing, his head tossing from side to side.

Harry shouted, "Shut it off!"

Something crashed behind her, Caitlin saw Killer Frost had covered her computer in ice. Switching her focus back to HR, she saw that the device was now off. "Guys, I need help!" she hollered.

_thank you to DancesWithSeatbelts for helping me with this chapter. _


	10. Revalations

Stepping out of the med bay Caitlin took a deep breath, thankful that HR was now stable.

"Hey, you okay?" asked Harry, eyebrows furrowed and a muscle twitching in his cheek. Unable to find her voice Caitlin just nodded. Harry didn't look like he bought her mute answer - he reached out and engulfed her in a strong hug. "It's not anybody's fault." His warm breath tickled her ear making Caitlin blush.

Looking over Harry's shoulder, she caught Killer Frost watching from the med bay. Their earlier conversation flooded her mind. Pulling away, Caitlin saw concern wash over Harry's face.

"Listen, Caitlin, there's something I want to ask you…"

She had never seen him so nervous before as he scratched the back of his head.

Before Harry could ask his question, Killer Frost came into the room looking royally pissed off, a thunderous frown furrowing her brows. "Do you guys want to go to Earth-19 and confront Randolph with me?"

"What?" Caitlin couldn't help but feel like this was a bad idea. Harry's expression said he agreed.

Folding her arms over her chest, Killer Frost stared at them determinedly. "I have to know what went wrong and the only person who can answer that is Randolph."

Caitlin looked to Harry for support, but in only a matter of seconds he'd managed to change his opinion. "Fine, but you need to calm down first."

Killer Frost nodded and walked back into the med bay to sit by HR's bedside.

"I thought there for a second you were going to head straight to Earth-19," said Caitlin, a trace of amusement in her voice.

Harry gave a small shrug and countered, "What? I'm not reckless."

Letting her mouth gape in disbelief Caitlin blinked owlishly and then shot back at him, "Yes, you are."

Harry narrowed his eyes at her and heaved a sigh like the weight of every version of Earth was on his shoulders. "It doesn't matter."

Before Caitlin could respond she felt a gust of wind that signalled Barry's arrival and he asked, "Hey guys, any change in HR?"

Looking at Barry Caitlin recognized the helplessness in his eyes; the same sense of futility that was haunting all of their team. Mustering what positivity she could, Caitlin forced a lighter tone. "Not at the moment, we're still trying to figure out what went wrong."

Sighing, Harry began rubbing his eyes. It was such a small movement, but it made Caitlin nervous because of how many times she had seen HR do it, but she knew that Harry wasn't him.

"Do either of you guys want to come to the hospital with me to visit Julian?"

Caitlin could tell Barry was trying to change the subject. Thinking it over, she realized that she didn't want to see her co-worker - not because she didn't like him as a friend, but she knew he wouldn't like the idea of Killer Frost being on this earth and she didn't want to deal with it right now. Caitlin shook her head and walked out of the cortex. Caitlin didn't know exactly where she was going, but she knew she had to get away from Harry. He'd been acting so strange since they had come back from Earth-19 and she couldn't figure out why. Time alone would let her settle her mind and heart.

Caitlin turned a corner and found herself in the speed lab. Not wanting to head back she just stood there, going over the events in her head, trying to determine what happened to make Harry act the way he was.

Someone cleared their throat. Caitlin turned around to see the person she had just been thinking about.

Harry gave her a long look that she couldn't read before taking a few steps forward. "Listen, Caitlin, would you like to grab some coffee with me?" Harry's voice was soft, his usual forthright growl subdued.

"Sure, just let me grab my coat." Caitlin's heart hammered as she thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to ask him what was going on.

HR's face was peaceful, lax in sleep and made Killer Frost fret. She knew that once he woke, his carefree expression would be gone and she didn't know how to fix it. Her mind started to wander back to the last conversation they'd shared.

Walking into the now sadly familiar warehouse she could see her husband staring at the picture of the man who had caused them so much pain. Stepping up next to him, she reached out her pale hand, running it through his hair. The touch brought his attention to her. HR's blue eyes were like a knife to her already broken heart. They were not the blazing blue she'd come to adore, they were leached of passion. "Are you coming home tonight?" This question had been one she had asked him a dozen times over the past month. She prayed that the answer would be different this time.

"Caitlin, I don't know." Pulling her hand away she couldn't help but feel the slap of rejection his words caused. Killer Frost knew he wasn't coming home that night and she couldn't help but notice that he didn't use the now beloved nickname that he'd given to her when they had consummated their love for each other. She had grown used to the name 'Caity cat' and now that he wasn't using it, it wounded her soul deep.

"Please HR, we need to figure something out because I don't think I can deal with being alone." Her voice trailed off, growing thin and weak. HR looked down, remaining silent which only made her feel worse. "What do you want me to do?" Killer Frost hollered. "Do you want me to find him and make him pay?"

That seemed to catch his attention because he looked at her, his eyes wide and HR began shaking his head. "No... No... That's not what I want you to do."

Needing answers, she pleaded. "Then what?"

HR stood from the stool he had been sitting on and said: "Nothing, there's nothing you can do, okay?" His voice rose with each word he spoke. "This is all on me and I don't want to talk about it right now." His chest heaved as he finished.

Licking her lips, Killer Frost was trying to keep it together - but she could feel her throat getting tight, making it hard to swallow. The water forming at the corner of her icy eyes made her vision blur. "Fine, when you're ready to come home and talk, I'll be there." Killer Frost took another deep breath and walked out of the warehouse hoping that HR would come back to her.

"Hey, do you need anything?" Cisco asked as he walked into the room, watching her closely.

"Yeah, I need my husband to remember." Killer Frost said looking sadly back at the man they were discussing.

Cisco pulled up a chair beside Killer Frost, sitting next to her. "Well, don't worry. We're not gonna stop until he does."

The words brought her some comfort and she appreciated everything these strangers had done for HR. Giving him a small but genuine smile, Killer Frost reached out and patted Cisco's back. "Thanks."

He gave her a small nod in return.

Setting further back in her chair, Killer Frost started to think of ways that perhaps HR's memories could return. Then a brilliant idea formed. "What if I went and got the photo album and then when HR wakes up, showed it to him?"

"And that could possibly jog his memory." Cisco finished for her.

This could work. Feeling, at last, a little bit of hope, Killer Frost jumped from her chair. She faced Cisco who shared her look of hope. "Can you watch him until I get back?"

Holding up his hands, Cisco said in a matter of fact tone, "You don't even have to ask."

Gleefully grinning, she rushed out of the med bay and towards the speed lab.

Sitting down with her coffee, Caitlin could feel her stomach filling with butterflies. But why? It wasn't like this was a date or anything. Across the small table, Caitlin found herself studying the way Harry ripped open the sugar packet, riveted with his long fingers, enthralled almost, as he dumped it into his coffee. Caitlin began to drift off in her own mind thinking about what those fingers could do.

"Caitlin!" Harry's voice brought her out of her inappropriate thoughts. Thankful that he couldn't read her mind, she willed her attention back to the present.

"What?"

"Are you okay?" Harry asked, his blue eyes searching hers. Thinking about his question Caitlin remembered that she wanted to ask him the same thing.

"Yeah, but what about you?" Her heart started beating faster as she waited for him to answer.

"Caitlin, there's something I've been meaning to tell you since we got back from Earth-19." The sound of his voice made her think that whatever it was - it was not good news.

Bracing herself for what he was going to tell her, Caitlin took a deep breath. "What is it?" She watched him carefully as Harry looked down at his coffee. Pulling his eyes from his beverage and back to her, she could tell he was nervous.

"I eavesdropped on your conversation with Killer Frost." Harry's voice was filled with regret but she couldn't tell if he regretted eavesdropping or that he couldn't share her feelings.

Embarrassment flooded her entire body as she abruptly stood and ran out of CC Jitters, Harry calling after her but she ran faster, not wanting to hear rejection.

Outside Caitlin felt the welcome cool night air hit her warm cheeks. Deciding that it would be best to go home and try to forget this night ever happened, she headed for her vehicle. At her car, Caitlin pulled out her keys, unlocking the door.

"Caitlin! Wait up." Harry reached out, grabbing her forearm, spinning her around to face him. "You didn't let me finish."

Before she could ask him anything, Harry cupped her face. His hands were warm and rough, even if a little unsteady. She wanted to melt into his touch. He stepped closer and kissed her - full on the mouth. His lips were warm, soft, and supple against her own. She swore she could hear ringing.

When Harry pulled away, her mind came back from the cloudy bliss and she realized that her phone had been ringing. Pulling it from her purse, Caitlin saw it was Cisco.

Hoping her voice wasn't too breathless, she answered, "Hello?"

"Caitlin! You and Harry need to come back to STAR Labs! HR is missing."

_Please leave your reviews and thoughts. Thank you to DancesWithSeatbelts for helping me with this story. _


	11. Home

"Nice of you chaps to show up, but where's Caitlin?" Julian lifted his head off his pillow the merest amount and gave Joe and Barry a perfunctory smile.

Joe and Barry look at each other, less than pleased their attendance is not as appreciated as Caitlin's. Joe almost growled his response, "It'd be nicer if you acted actually happy to see us."

Barry's smile turned wide and false. "Joe just hates missing family time with Jenna, you know how it is with family."

Julian's weak smile faded further and he lowered his eyes as he responded. "What remains of my family is quite far away and I don't have children."

Wanting to make peace, Barry tried another angle. "How's your cool scar coming along?"

Scoffing, Julian pulled open his hospital gown, displaying an angry red jagged wound. "The nurses tell me the doctor sewing me up was new, it's going to look like a bloody lightning zig-zag!"

"You sound like you're doing alright." Barry took the gift bag from Joe and made room on Julian's bed table. "We've got news to share."

"More important, I want to press charges! Joe you simply must write down my statement." Julian clutched his hospital sheets to his chest. "I hope HR isn't too comfortable in the pogey."

"You're not going to believe this,--" Barry held up his hand and gave Julian a foolish grin, "--but HR stabbed you because he thought you killed his daughter."

"He has a daughter? Is he even married?" Julian rolled his eyes. "I'm the one with massive blood loss, but you're barmy if you think I'm going to swallow this cock and bull story! And seriously - why isn't Caitlin here?"

"She's busy." Barry shrugged, hoping Julian would drop his antagonistic behaviour.

Joe clapped a warning hand on Julian's shoulder. "He's from another Earth and has another life we didn't know about before he joined us. We haven't reported the incident because it would make everything more difficult."

Julian had the grace to look a bit abashed. "Another Earth and another life - I never considered that."

Barry sat down in one of the ugly hospital chairs and gazed soberly at Julian. "And he's married..."

Joe finished Barry's sentence once it became obvious Barry's reluctance was keeping him from doing so. "HR of earth 19 is married to Killer Frost of earth 19."

Julian flopped back in bed. "Bloody hell."

"No, it was a bloody stomach he gave you."

Joe shook his head at Barry's importune words. "Damn son, the man's just had major surgery. No making fun until he's discharged."

"I get stabbed, HR gets off scot free and there's another dimension's criminal gadding about free as a bird as I rot in hospital?" Julian glared at his visitors.

"You only rot if gangrene sets in and the nurses don't wash you." Barry covered his smirk and nodded to Joe. "Last joke, I swear."

Sighing like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, Julian pointed to the gift bag. "Might as well hand me the prize I won for being a pincushion."

"..." Barry couldn't hide his puzzled expression as he dutifully handed over the gift. "Pincushion?"

Joe pinched the bridge of his nose and quietly explained to Barry that Julian was referencing being stabbed.

Earth-19 Earth-19

Watching the frail woman attempt to breathe was heartbreaking. Sitting beside his wife's bed, John reached out and squeezed her small hand.

"Is Julian here?" Sara's voice was just a whisper; the cancer had taken a massive toll on her body. There was only one thing she wanted more than life - to see her son, hug him, tell him she loved him before...her death.

"No, but I'll give him a call."

Retrieving his phone from his pocket John pulled up his contact list and called their son.

"Hey dad, I'm kinda busy right now." Julian sounded tired - no doubt working late.

"Julian listen, your mother is really sick and she's asking for you." Taking a breath John continued, "The doctors say she won't make it through the night."

"What!? Why didn't you call me sooner?" Julian's voice cracked and John could clearly tell he was upset by the way he was breathing hard.

"Listen Julian, I tried to call you but you're always bus-" The sound of metal hitting metal cut him off.

"Julian, what was that?" John asked frantically but couldn't hear anything. Dread spread throughout his body but he knew it wouldn't be any good for his sickly wife to see the panic. He rushed out of the room, John tried to listen carefully, hoping to hear something, anything. Only the sound of his own heart hammering in his chest, scared for his son, could be heard.

Sirens off in the distance made John fall to his knees, praying fervently that he didn't lose his son and wife in the same night.

Present Present

The pain was sudden. HR stumbled, gripping his head, shaking his head in an effort to ease the sharp discomfort as it tried to melt his brain.

Icy blue eyes flashed into view - then a wide smile that made the beautiful woman stunning. She batted her lashes and reached for him - cool hands that gripped him with surprising strength. "Don't be shy, kiss me!"

HR could almost taste the strawberry lip gloss the woman wore, mesmerized by the way she slowly dipped her face closer. At this point, HR noticed the cat ear headband she wore - glancing at the rest of her body - gulping at the skin-tight black leather suit and tailor made to hug her curves with love.

"Kiss me! Right meow!" She giggled and HR couldn't not give this sexy creature what she asked for; he closed his eyes and leaned forward. One breath, two - three… It was like kissing air. HR opened his eyes and stifled a sob with his fist crammed in his mouth.

He was alone. No Caity Cat, no company but his delirious thoughts and surfacing sad memories. Neva… He'd failed his daughter once again.

Trying to regain control of his mind, HR took stock. He was on a busy street but couldn't remember how he got there or why he was even outside. Turning around he saw an unfamiliar shop - feeling the need to sit down, HR entered the business and tried to determine exactly where he was.

The whole establishment seemed foreign. The smell was the first thing to hit his senses, strong and it quickened his heart, trying to wake him up. HR scanned his surroundings, blue eyes lighting with curiosity, the place seemed familiar but nothing came to mind about why it was.

Gulping, he stepped up to the counter.

"Hi, can I get you a coffee?" The young woman with short black hair asked. HR noticed the white nametag 'Megan' was typed in big bold letters. She had to be joking or maybe her wires got crossed somewhere.

"I'm sorry, I think you're mistaken?" HR tried to keep his voice steady as the pulsing from his brain was making it hard to talk.

"I'm sorry wh…" Megan tried to ask him something but silenced herself as HR gripped his hair and fell to his knees screaming in agony. Just when he thought the pounding in his head couldn't possibly get any worse, a stabbing pain spread throughout his entire skull - it felt like his brain was being torn to shreds.

HR knew she was standing there, but could only see long white hair cascading down her back. She was so close he swore he could smell the delicate perfume she favored. He wished to see his wife's angelic face. Reaching out to her, he could almost grasp her shoulder, but again was hit with nothing but air.

A face did come into view but it wasn't Caity; instead it was that crazy woman who'd asked him if he wanted coffee. What a nutjob! Coffee had been extinct from the world blight since, since….

Jumping up, HR could only guess he had passed out from the agonizing sharp pain in his brain that thankfully had dulled to merely a throbbing one.

"Do you need a hospital?"

Ignoring the question, HR could only think of one thing, find Julian and make him pay. Staggering unsteadily out of the strange place he began to consider where to go.

The streets were busy and loud with people and the noise was starting to take a toll on his concentration. But HR knew he had to continue - because the thought of losing himself again as he had been for the past year was something he didn't want to experience again.

HR tried to think, hoping to recover something, anything that was a recent event to tell him what he had done in the past year - but everything seemed jumbled. The more he tried to concentrate, the more intense the pain became, making it hard to focus on any single memory. Then the sharp pain returned, making HR double over in agony. Taking deep breaths he did his best to regain control, but it was a losing battle.

HR could see Julian standing in front of him, and just over his shoulder he could see Caitlin - but she looked different; brown hair and her eyes were no longer the icy blue that he loved so much. Caitlin looked at him with wide brown eyes and furrowed forehead.

Julian took a step closer. HR could feel something in his pocket; cylindrical in shape with a pointed end, he could only guess it was his pen that he carried everywhere.

"Something is really wrong with you, mate."

The statement made HR's blood boil. How dare he act so innocent! All of this was his fault! HR really shouldn't have stopped Killer Frost that night the accident happened, but HR knew she wouldn't have been the same if she had succeeded and killed Julian.

"I shouldn't have stopped you that night Caitlin. I should have done this." HR could feel his whole body vibrating as he retrieved pen from his pocket and used all the rage in himself to stab Julian. For those few seconds, HR felt satisfied.

Coming back from the memory he now knew where to go. Hailing a taxi, HR eagerly got in the backseat. "Where to?" The cab driver asked.

"I need to get to the hospital."

As the cab began to drive, HR knew what he needed to do. Almost at his destination, the throbbing in his mind had begun to increase. It was starting to add to the pent up anger that he could sense was consuming his entire being.

Taking a deep breath and rubbing his eyes HR focused on what he was determined to do. The legal system had failed Neva but he wasn't going to. Reaching into his jacket pocket HR pulled out strange paper. It was green and had a face on it with fifty written on the corners but he couldn't remember how or why he had it on him.

Ignoring the strange paper he looked up and saw the cemetery and felt a pull in his chest. HR hadn't been to see Neva's grave since her burial and now he knew that he had to stop and speak to her one last time.

"Stop the cab!"

The driver slammed his brakes, sending HR into the back glass. Shaking off the impact, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his Helbing and handed it to the driver.

"What da hell is this?" The driver's eyebrows knitted as he turned over the triangular shaped coin.

"Money." HR said but the driver continued to look confused.

"No, this ain't money. Whaddya got in your other hand?"

Opening his hand HR revealed the strange paper. The driver snatched it from HR and just as quickly tossed the change to his fare

Stepping out of the cab, HR didn't have time to dwell on why people were acting so strange - he was on a mission and nothing else mattered.

An unsettled aura descended on him as HR made his way through the dark cemetery. Each headstone cast a depressing shadow as he walked by. Taking the path towards Neva's resting place his heart raced. Continuing on HR's steps began to feel heavier and the pounding in his head started to increase. Taking a left turn he began counting the headstones: one, two, three, four.

Kneeling in front of the grey headstone HR gasped. Horror spread throughout his body. Something was wrong...this wasn't Nevas grave...but it was. On the headstone, it had the wrong name. Neva Flores was written instead of Neva Wells and there was no angel praying over her.

Panicking, HR stood up abruptly. He tried to catch his breath. Nothing was making sense anymore. The throbbing in his head devolved back to sharp and piercing. Gripping his hair, he began to weep.

"HR?" He heard her voice but refused to turn around, afraid that she would be nothing more than a memory.

Feeling an icy hand grip his shoulder is what made HR turn his head - coming face to face with his wife who he hadn't seen in over a year. His heart leapt. Frantic, he choked on his apology; unable to articulate himself he sputtered and then fell silent, allowing his eyes to do his pleading.

"HR, you need to come with me." Her voice was soft and tender. Nodding, HR grasped her cold hand in his warm one. For the first time in a long time, he felt like he was home.

_Please leave your reviews and thoughts. Shout out to my beta DancesWithSeatbelts who actually co-wrote this chapter with me. _


	12. System Reboot

Getting back to STAR Labs, Killer Frost sat at HR's bedside; he'd been in so much pain that Caitlin had to sedate him, but he was due to soon wake. Her heart raced as she studied his face. HR looked peaceful but Killer Frost knew he was in pain, and that caused her to feel pain as well.

"Hey, we've got something that can help." Caitlin walked into the med bay, Harry right behind her. "Actually we have someone who can help - but please don't attack him."

Killer Frost didn't have to ask, she already knew who it had to be. Faking a smile she hissed, "Randolph." The man's name alone made her blood boil. Taking a deep breath to let out her anger, she seethed but knew she had to work with him or she could lose HR for good. "Can he really help?"

Hoping his voice would calm the irate woman, Harry said, "He's a valuable chess piece in this mess. We'll get more from him if he thinks he's in control than if he knows we're prepared to break him."

Caitlin moved closer to Harry and gently touched his arm before letting her hand drop. "We don't have to break him."

Killer Frost rubbed her forehead. "Never say never."

Randolph had to have known HR and Killer Frost were waiting in the med bay, but he entered confidently, swaggering almost. He affected nonchalance, sweeping his eyes over and back to Cisco who'd been escorting him. "Well, you're looking pretty good, considering."

"You don't know how lucky you are!" spat Killer Frost.

"I'm beyond lucky." Randolph smirked. "Untouchable in fact."

A cruel smile on her face, Killer Frost snatched hold of Randolph's wrist and let her eyes glow; ice crackled and the smug bastard yelped. "Untouchable? No, you're only human and I've got meta-human powers on my side."

"Hands off, everybody!" Caitlin yelled and blushed after raising her voice. "We need to talk, not fight."

Harry glared at Randolph full in the face. "How about I talk about how our friend here will turn you into a human popsicle if you don't help HR regain his proper senses?"

"Not what I meant…" muttered Caitlin.

"I'm fine with it." Killer Frost flexed her fingers and shot Randolph a look that would have felled a more sensible man.

Randolph edged closer to HR, holding up his hands in a supplicating gesture as Frost moved to block him. "Let me see what you've got set up here or I won't be able to help."

Making noise for the first time since entering the room, Cisco cleared his throat and then spoke, "No funny business."

"Funny you'd say 'funny business' because being HR's business partner was never any fun." Randolph rolled his eyes, twisting his lips. "I was the brains and did all the heavy lifting in our doomed partnership - and he was the showman. Wining and dining clients while I created everything." He continued to examine the tech on HR's brow and then pointed to his empty wrist. "Where's the controlling smart-band?"

"Smart-band? You mean like a smart-watch?" Cisco didn't enjoy the smug look on Randolph's face - not one bit. "Could you be less of an ass?"

"The first rule of business is give nothing away. I'm here to make money, not donate my time for free." Randolph, still unshakeable in the idea he was holding the upper hand, gloated. "I'm here because you kidnapped me, not because I want to help." He patted his breast pocket in a subconscious manner. "You can't afford my help."

Barry swooshed in, having been listening from out of sight, searching Randolph in a matter of seconds - holding a flat wide band aloft in triumph. "No payment needed when we can help ourselves though."

"That's not fair!" Randolph whined.

Caitlin stepped forward holding up her hands in defeat. "Why don't you just tell us why you did this?"

Randolph turned his glare from Barry to her and shouted. "I wanted to merge with Queen Consolidated but couldn't do that if HR wasn't focused."

Killer Frost took a step toward Randolph who didn't seem to care. "He was grieving, we'd just lost our daughter."

Rolling his eyes, Randolph shrugged. "That's not my problem. I wasn't the prick that was driving."

Placing a hand on Killer Frost's shoulder, Harry moved her to the side. Now that he was standing face to face with the arrogant son of a bitch, he was growing tired of hearing him spew his garbage. "No, you didn't. But you're the prick that erased HR's memories of his marriage. So either you can help us or we can have our good friend Gypsy come and pick you up."

Hearing the famous breacher's name Randolph looked down, licking his lips. "No! Fine, I'll help. The smart-band needs to be on HR's wrist, that way it can monitor his brain function and be a buffer when his emotions get too strong."

Caitlin held out her hand to Barry who handed over the device. "Let's get started."

Coming closer to HR's bedside Caitlin's stomach was in knots. She hoped this time it would work. Putting the smart-band on his wrist she looked over at Harry who had moved closer to her and was blocking Randolph's view.

"Alright, now what?" Killer Frost sounded anxious as she came to stand by her husband's side.

"Now we just put the device on monitor and check his memories. If any of them are wrong, we just send a small shock to his brain - easy." Randolph sounded confident.

"Yeah cause that worked so well last time." Killer Frost hissed.

"Not my fault you didn't grab the necessary tools."

Caitlin sighed at Randolph's ignorance. "A little hard to have the right tools when you were withholding the most important bit. Do shut up and sit down, we can handle it from here."

Rolling his eyes Randolph sat and glared at Caitlin. Ignoring him she turned to Killer Frost and requested, "Please watch the computer."

"I can do that."

Fiddling with one last wire, Caitlin rechecked the input leads, testing to make sure the were fully inserted. On the small instrument panel of the device she tweaked the tolerances, adjusting the levels to just above the bare minimum. To Cisco she said, "I learned from the last time."

Cisco nodded and let out a sigh. He was just as invested in getting HR mentally well as Killer Frost and the rest of the team - because they were a team. One for all and all for one…

At Caitlin's signal, Frost tapped the enter key and the monitor lit with a fuzzy image. Everyone moved closer, wanting to see and understand the tragedy HR and his wife had been dealing with - everyone except Randolph. Randolph looked away and started judging how distracted the group had become.

HR's body twitched, his eyelids fluttering. Was the sedate wearing off or was the device working? His chest gently rose and fell; it seemed to be going well - but the proof would be in his reaction to any shocks they had to give.

Frost stared and prayed at the monitor, a true and honest smile graced her face. She knew that building in the monitor - she remembered that day's weather because it was ingrained on her heart, much like her love for HR. It was the day they'd first met - outside the publicist's office, in cold and sleety weather, but it made her happy nonetheless.

Watching herself on the monitor was odd. Did she always look so severe and professional when she was pretending to be full human? She hadn't worn a pants suit in years, so this was a true blast from the past.

Walking towards the building she had been rummaging through her purse for her ID badge to access the senior level parts of the company. Killer Frost only stopped when she collided with something solid, almost knocking her down in the process.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" Came a masculine voice in front of her. Looking up Killer Frost felt her breath hitch as she gazed into what had to be the bluest eyes she had ever seen. Taking in the rest of this stranger's face she could see he was quite handsome with a strong jawline. He reminded her of a cute puppy the way his eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth in a deep frown.

"I'm fine, and you?"

"Yeah. I'm Harrison Wells but everyone calls me HR, and you?" HR had bowed a little which made her smile.

"Caitlin Snow." Her stomach started to flip as she did her own little bow. Remembering that she was running late for a meeting, Killer Frost began digging in her purse again.

"It was nice to meet you but I'm currently running late for a meeting."

HR nodded but remained where he was. "Do you work in the publicist's office?"

Abandoning her search for her ID she narrowed her eyes at HR who gave her a goofy smile. "Yeah, I do, why?"

HR reached into his bag looking for something. As she watched him, Killer Frost couldn't help but notice his toned and muscled body even under the layers of clothes he wore.

"I actually have an appointment with someone. Hold on, I'm trying to find the paper with their name on it." HR continued his search then with a triumphant shout he removed a piece of white paper. Flipping it over his eyes grew big and he looked her full in the face with his mouth hanging open. "Your last name wouldn't be Snow by any chance would it?"

Letting out a small chuckle she nodded. "Yeah, that's me. Let me guess, you're the appointment I'm late for?"

She watched as his whole face lit. "Yeah, shall we?" He offered his arm to her which she gladly took and they proceeded to walk into the building together.

"This is taking too long." Standing, almost making his chair upend, Randolph stalked towards HR. Reaching out he grabbed HR's limp wrist and proceeded to press buttons on the smart-band.

"What are you doing?" Killer Frost shouted, her hands starting to form a white mist.

Running over, Harry grabbed him by the arm, dragging and slamming him back into his seat.

Holding up his hands Randolph began defending his decision. "I'm in a hurry okay, I don't want to look through his whole relationship. I don't need to see all that."

"Is it because you've never been loved?" Cisco scoffed and shook his head. "Maybe you don't know how real people interact, you've been too busy trying to amass a fortune. Running a company and only caring about profit leaves no room for the softer emotions, does it?"

"I'm a success, but you wouldn't recognize that, huh?" Randolph smoothed the lapels of his suit and gave Cisco's t-shirt and rumpled jeans a derisive look. "Power, money, time - they're all connected and I know what to do with them to make more, and get everything I want out of life."

Harry drily chuckled. "You couldn't be more wrong." His eyes softened as he caught Caitlin's small nod. "People and the connections we make with them are the most powerful and amazing thing in life."

"Harry -" Caitlin cut herself off from confessing her feelings, holding a hand over her heart and just nodding more vigorously.

Randolph sucked air over his teeth. "I don't have all day for this, you're all a bunch of tree-huggers. Life is precious! Love is wonderful! Death is pretty big in this universe too - and one of my deals is gonna DIE if I don't get back!" His voice raised higher and higher, so that he was shouting his last words - so loud that as he said, 'die,' HR's body full on shook and the monitor's scene fuzzed into static. HR began to moan and thrash.

Trepidation in her veins, KF watched the scene unfold on the monitor; this had to be the accident. Cars whizzed past in the opposite lanes and flashing lights made it hard to understand exactly what she was seeing.

Happy music played on the car's radio - that was nice. A thin but chirpy child's voice asked for juice, and HR gave a teasing reply. "You don't want pop? Your mom isn't here to say no."

"I don't like the fizzies!"

"Just like your mom." HR pulled out a juice box and small hands snatched it clean from his grip. "Don't spill or I'll get in trouble."

The vision switched rapidly, from a dark but cozy feeling to a jumbled mass of static and splotches of fog. A wailing siren spooked the whole group.

Frost gasped and what little colour she had in her face drained. "No!"

Caitlin hugged the distraught woman, doing her best to give comfort. "We're all here for you."

Barry and Cisco watched, mute. Life had taken loved ones from their lives too - but never had they been forced to watch and relive such horrors from their tragedies.

On the gurney, HR began to wake, seeing the monitor showing grainy footage of a car wreck, he stared, silent. A few seconds passed - and his fugue state ended with a primal scream.

Frozen with grief, Killer Frost held the control and closed her eyes, adding her despairing voice to her husband's; a wordless expression of sorrow, glittering ice tears shattering on the floor.

Panic bounced inside the med bay. Together both Harry and Caitlin remembered the shock dial, and gave HR a large dose. The monitor blanked and several things happened at once. HR tumbled off the bed, Randolph scurried towards the exit and ran directly into Barry. Bouncing back, Randolph ran into HR - who grabbed him by the suit.

"Don't hurt me!"

"You killed my daughter! My Neva! I won't -" HR let go of Randolph's clothes and clutched his temples, gasping in pain.

Being the bastard opportunist he was, Randolph twisted the smart-band and fumbled to change all the important settings, both Cisco and Harry prying him away from HR who was supported by Barry. "You're fucking crazy!" Randolph slapped futilely at the restraining hands on himself. "Fucking crazy and fucking stupid! I was nowhere near there!"

The harsh words directed at her husband brought Frost to deadly life. "You're gonna be fucking dead if you don't watch your mouth. HR is not crazy, nor is he stupid!"

Randolph renewed his struggles, shoving and getting nowhere. Spittle flew from his lips. "Like I give a damn! If only HR had lost all his marbles like he was supposed to, I'd have one hundred percent control of my business!"

Caitlin stepped forward looking Randolph dead in the eye. "I think it's time you left." She hissed.

"Wait so that's it, no thank you or anything?" Randolph's eyes were wild and he still was holding onto his smug belief that he was untouchable.

Harry yanked on Randolph's suit jacket getting his attention. "You're lucky Cisco isn't breaching you to a dead earth."

"This has got to one of the worst deals I've ever done." Randolph complained.

Harry and Cisco released Randolph and watched as he headed for the exit. "Cisco would you please get him off this earth?" Killer Frost bit her lip and sank her nails into the flesh of her thighs, trying to ease the fury racing in her blood.

Stalking towards the man Cisco escorted him out of the med bay but before he left Randolph mockingly said. "You're welcome."

"Fuck you." Caitlin shrugged as all eyes were on her. "What? He's an asshole."

_I would like to thank DancesWithSeatbelts who Co Wrote this with me. Please leave your reviews._


	13. A Life Mended With Love

Numb. That's what he felt; the senses of his body were not sending signals to his brain - or they were weak, struggling just like his mind, trying to understand his current situation. HR knew he was laying down, that much he could tell - but nothing else. Upon opening his eyes everything was blurry, HR couldn't remember where he was or anything of what had happened. Turning his head he could see someone sitting in a chair beside him but they were horribly fuzzy.

"Caitlin! Guys, he's waking up! Pay attention." That voice; normally calm but always with a sense of intensity and force - he instantly recognized it was his wife's. Blinking a few times HR willed his vision to clear, desperate to meet the beautiful icy blue eyes he so adored but was denied.

Sitting up was difficult, but he kept trying until a firm hand gripped his shoulder and gentle pressure had him laying back on the bed.

"HR, can you hear me?" A calm voice asked, similar to his wife's but...softer, less jaded. Trying to determine his surroundings as best he could, HR squinted, hoping that would help. It made his vision worse. "This is Caitlin and we're going to try to help you."

"Y-yeah." His voice was scratchy; mouth and throat dry like dust. Coughing a few times he began to wish for a glass of water. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing else would come out.

"HR, can you tell me what's the last thing you remember?"

Thinking back, HR remembered being in a cemetery. He'd gone there to speak to Neva one last time. It had been very important, some things didn't add up. He'd needed to see her grave; to touch the memorial, ground himself with the love he felt for his and Frost's child. "I was at the cemetery."

A light was flashed in his eyes. "How do you feel?"

"Water? Can I have some water?"

HR's body was heavy with exhaustion. Blinking rapidly and then rubbing his eyelids, his vision started to clear. His wife was standing over him with a paper cup in her hand, bringing it to his parched mouth. The water was cool and cleared his throat. HR held onto his Caity cat's cool hand, never wanting to let go. She gave him a relieved smile.

Caitlin asked, "HR, do you know where you are?"

Tearing his gaze from his wife, HR furrowed his brow. There was another woman that looked an awful lot like his Frost, minus the white hair and icy eyes. Turning his head between the two women he just held his mouth open, gaping at them.

Tripping over his tongue, HR finally managed to speak. "W-Who are you?"

His wife's double open and closed her mouth several times before giving Frost a pleading look. HR turned his gaze back to his wife; she had her head down, licking her lips.

Meeting his eyes she set her lips into a tight line just staring, and then said, "HR, you're on a different earth. We're both on a different earth."

Shaking his head, HR repeatedly whispered, "No… No…" Confusion swept through him. How was this possible? He knew travel between the dimensions was forbidden, so why would he leave his earth? He was almost positive he would've remembered going to a different earth. Cold hands gripped his arm. Looking up, HR locked eyes with his wife. She held his gaze for a moment before slowly reaching up with her pale fingers and caressing his face, humming a little. HR savored the touch.

"It's true." Frost's voice was sincere. HR watched her chest rise and fall as she took a deep breath. "Randolph tricked you, taking your memories of everything and these people helped me get you back." Her eyes were misted with tears - and that made his heart twinge. HR hated with every fiber of his being to see his wife in any pain. HR wiped her tears away with his thumb.

"I'll leave you two be." HR watched his wife's doppelganger leave the room, closing the door behind her, allowing them privacy.

"What happened to Randolph?" HR growled.

"A breacher, her name's Gypsy, she came and picked him up."

"That son of a bitch used my grief to take my memories." Balling up his fist, HR inhaled deep before asking his next question. "What will happen to him?"

"He'll be executed for his crimes." Frost said, her eyes glinting with barely suppressed power. "I'd rather break his neck myself, but as long as we're given a blind eye when it come to our own dimension jumping, I can manage to keep quiet."

HR touched Caitlin's elbow. "We don't have to like it, we just have to live with the outcome. Just like we have to move forwards in our lives without Neva."

"Neva." Frost shrank in on herself. "No. I can't talk about her right now. I'm too angry about Randolph. How dare he manipulate and steal your memories?!"

"It isn't all his fault. I allowed it to happen." HR let his head hang low. "If I hadn't trusted him. Maybe if I had more smarts…" He turned away, unable to meet his wife's gaze. "If only and what could be; that's all I have. Other than apologies. Caity Cat, I'm so sorry."

Frost's face turned sour as she glared at him. Lowering his hand, HR waited for the unavoidable lashing she was about to give him. Arms crossed, she bit her lip. "I waited for you but you never came home."

The anger and bitterness in her words made HR flinch. He knew that trusting Randolph was a gamble; one that he should have never risked, but he also knew it was in the past and unalterable.

"I know, it was stupid of me to do that." Taking a deep breath, HR hung his head in shame. Well, this is the end of my marriage I guess… He sniffled at the thought of losing his wife because of his mistake.

Cold hands touched his face, lifting upwards so he was forced to look at her. Frost's eyes no longer held anger; instead, they glowed with anguish. Leaning forward, HR could feel her breath on his face; delightfully chill, and smell her perfume - god, so amazing. Slowly she lowered her lips to his, gifting him with a forgiving kiss. And HR conveyed how truly sorry he was with his gentle response. Pulling away, he could see the first signs of a smile growing on his wife's face.

"We'll work this out somehow." Her voice was full of promise and that gave HR peace.

Stepping into the cortex Caitlin saw Harry watching her. He asked, "How's HR?"

"He's doing much better now, with Killer Frost, uh, his wife." Feeling super awkward but needing to put her thoughts into order, Caitlin continued with her rambling. "They really connect with one another, don't they? Now we know so much more about HR and his life, and the little clues he's shared mean much more than I ever realized." Caitlin looked down at her feet and huffed a little, it was weak laughter, but it gave her courage. "Life's funny, isn't it?"

Harry nodded, stepping closer to Caitlin. "Life, death, the universe; funny doesn't begin to cover everything."

"Well, HR for sure remembers his wife but not our team."

"I can understand that."

Harry's voice drops in volume but the timbre is raising the hairs on Caitlin's arms. It is deeply arousing how male Harry sounds. A little bit ashamed of lusting after her co-worker, she concentrates on keeping her breaths even. Will it work? Who knows, but Caitlin would rather not show Harry exactly how turned on she is.

Harry nods and captures Caitlin's gaze with his own. "Making a bond with another person and committing to marriage does something. I had that and I never thought I'd want to be in another position like that; wanting, no, needing another person to share my life." He heaved a sigh, a tiny smile playing with his lips. "I understand HR's heart because he's a version of me."

"HR is still his own person, just because he's similar in looks doesn't mean -" Caitlin stopped her exposition as Harry silenced her with his finger on her lips. Her heart hammered fiercely in her chest and Caitlin couldn't stop her eyes from widening and the smallest ring of icy blue showing in her eyes. How long ago had Harry kissed her? It felt like ages but with his warm finger against her skin...all she wanted was a repeat kiss. No! A new kiss. Many kisses!

"How about we finish this over a cup of coffee?"

The thought of having coffee with Harry made Caitlin's heart race and her mouth dry. She didn't trust her voice and had to swallow a few times before trying to speak. "CC Jitters?"

"I was thinking somewhere we won't be interrupted." Harry's bashful smile was even cuter than Caitlin had expected. He shoved both hands into his pockets, hunching over just a little. "You've got coffee at home, right?"

Caitlin bemusedly agreed and Harry took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers, beginning a slow walk to her vehicle. The drive to her apartment was laced with inconsequential conversation as she navigated home on autopilot. In the elevator she was attacked with nerves again. This thing between herself and Harry was so very important; Caitlin did not want to ruin what could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

Stepping onto her floor, Caitlin tried not to think about how intimate this really was. A man hadn't been in her apartment since...Ronnie. Pushing those thoughts aside, she retrieved her keys from her purse. Hands shaking, she willed them steady to unlock the door.

Opening the door Caitlin hung her keys by the entrance. "Make yourself at home," she said stepping aside to let Harry enter. Watching him inspect her home made Caitlin's stomach fill with butterflies. To be utterly honest, those damn butterflies were horny. Harry always looked handsome, but today...man oh man, his stark black outfit just cried out to Caitlin, 'please rip me off!'

"Do you mean that?" Harry pulled off his coat and let it drop on the wing chair, moved further into Caitlin's home and smiled. "I like your art on the walls, a good selection of prints."

At first Caitlin was worried Harry had been privy to her recent thoughts and her knees about collapsed. Reason prevailed and she was able to not embarrass herself. "You didn't come here with me to discuss my appreciation of fine arts." Caitlin gulped. "The real reason is something I'd love to know."

"I had said coffee, but perhaps, wine?" Harry crossed his arms over his well-muscled chest. "Red or white, I'm partial to whatever you've got on hand."

"That's a relief." Caitlin moved into her kitchen and inspected her small wine rack. "Last chance for a preference."

"Whatever you'd prefer."

Huh. 'Whatever you'd prefer.' Caitlin wasn't religious; but she spared a moment to pray that 'whatever you'd prefer' meant she could become closer, oh so much closer with Harry. "Red it is!" A brief use of her frost powers and the red was slightly chilled. She rummaged for a corkscrew and put that and a set of glasses on a tray. Placing it on the coffee table she gave Harry an eloquent look that basically said, 'open and pour.' "I'm gonna put away my purse, be right back."

Harry sampled and savoured the wine. Nerves began to assail him, nerves and doubt. Caitlin was incredibly smart, beautiful and why would she be interested in him? Harry took a deep breath and let it out slowly. If HR could land his reality's version of Caitlin Snow; he, Harry of Earth 2, could only try his hardest.

Caitlin stepped back into her living room and picked up her drink, taking a restorative sip. Okay. It was a gulp for courage. "So…" Caitlin eyed the solitary chair and the open end of the couch Harry was on.

"Sit with me. That's if...you don't mind." Harry held his hand out to Caitlin, smiling as she accepted his gesture. "It's much nicer to speak face to face."

Yeah. That and other things. Caitlin sat and crossed her legs, her hand still being held by Harry who was refusing to release his grip. "So -"

"Can I -" Harry squeezed Caitlin's hand and then let go. "I'm gonna go ahead and speak my piece because I don't think I can keep it bottled any longer. You've always been exceptional, Caitlin. Your intellect, beauty and sheer joie de vivre has been a giant draw this whole time I've known you." He set his wine down and rubbed his palms on his thighs. "I feel a bit like a moth drawn to a flame. A flame I know could consume me; along with all my waking thoughts and dreams but I need your warmth. I need you more than oxygen."

"Wow." Caitlin realized she'd let her jaw drop open. How was that for appearing smart and sophisticated? Not very. "Now tell me how you really feel."

"Why is it you can't tell?"

Caitlin realized Harry is shifting closer, looming almost - so close she can feel his body warmth. Having him so close was wreaking havoc on her brain cells. Which might be why she said, "Don't actions speak louder than words?"

Harry nodded, a bit of a smug smile in that action. His blue, blue eyes were riveted to Caitlin's lips. Slow and inevitable, Harry kissed Caitlin. At first it was just lips on lips - but that wasn't enough, not for either of them. Like a dam bursting and releasing a great pressure, Harry and Caitlin indulged in a torrid make-out session.

HR gave the warehouse keys to Frost and she unlocked the building. She'd been okay with waiting but HR wanted to show her exactly how much he wanted to move forward; and clearing the space of his obsession was important. Neva would always have a place in both their hearts - but in order to truly heal; the twisted bits of metal, the endless notes and sad momentos needed to be laid to rest.

It was a hard first step. It felt a bit like a betrayal of Neva's memory. Seeing the evidence again made HR begin to sweat. Every bit of evidence radiated with emotional pain, not just for him, but for his wife - his Caity, who looked down and away as she knuckled away her tears.

"My love, I'm here for you." HR wrapped his arms around his wife, crooning his words into her ear. "Neva...our daughter was very loved and even if we… No. Even if I lost my mind after her death…" HR sighed. "I will always love Neva just like I'll always love you."

"I know." Killer Frost snuggled into HR's embrace. She looked over her shoulder, appreciating the effort her husband was making. "Gone but never forgotten." She twisted in his arms and gave him a short but sweet kiss. "Let's clean."

It was an easy decision after clearing the warehouse to pay a visit to the cemetery. It was late; dark but soothing for all that the sun had set hours ago. The old established trees rustled their leaves in the wind and the scent of freshly mown grass was everywhere. HR and Frost stood side-by-side, their hands linked over Neva's grave.

HR was loathe to break the silence but he had questions and it was never going to get easier to talk about their loss if they never started.

"How long was I gone for?"

Caitlin gave his hand a gentle squeeze before answering. "Almost two years."

The thought of being away from his wife for that long made HRs stomach tighten. "How can I ever make it up to you?"

"I don't want you to suffer any more. You don't need to do anything but be here with me." Caitlin pointed to the moon high in the sky. "See how much light is reflected? It purifies everything it touches. We're washed clean of every terrible and sad torment."

"Well, when you put it that way…" HR tugged Caitlin closer and gave her a short kiss. "She's gone but I'm here and I'm gonna… We're going to mend our lives with more love."

"I like the sound of that. Speaking of mending…" Caitlin reluctantly shook her hand free. "I've been keeping Neva's ice sculptures in perfect condition. I think it's time I let them go."

"That's not something you have to do." HR's hands felt restless and he shoved them into his pockets. "Neva loved them. Matter of fact, I love them."

"I don't know." Despite her best intentions, tears flowed. "Does keeping them in pristine condition mean I'm stuck in the past or is it honoring Neva's memory?"

"It's whatever we decide." HR took a deep shuddering breath. "Neva loved us just like we loved - " His voice cracked but he continued, "love her. It will never end. And that's what I want for us, to never end."

Caitlin threw herself into HR's arms. "Always and ever."

The snap of a twig brought them out of their understanding. Turning around, Killer Frost eyes turned icy and her hands couldn't be seen for all the frost she was producing.

HR reached out, grasping his wife's wrist, finally garnering her attention. Lowering her hands, Killer Frost glared at the intruder.

"What do you want?" HR demanded.

Julian stood before them with his head down. The tone of HR's voice made him flinch. "I'm sorry for what happened to…"

"Don't you even think her name." Killer Frost marched toward a cowering Julian but was stopped when HR pulled her back beside him and kept a strong hold of her hand.

"I can explain. I don't excuse what happened, but I can tell you why. My mother was on her deathbed and I had just found out that night." Julian's voice broke, tears shining in his eyes. "I know I should have stayed for the trial but my mother's funeral was happening at the same time. I needed to say my goodbyes. Hell is a collection of words unsaid and unheard."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Frost whispered. Hearing his story made her less hostile; a small amount.

HR ran his fingers through his hair before saying, "You've caused us a lot of grief. I've wanted nothing but revenge against you, but hearing that you were also grieving, I won't stab you with my pen or anything."

Julian nodded and held out his hand, but HR just stared like it had the plague. "I understand what happened but right now I'd rather stab you with the pen I just said I wouldn't do that with." He chuckled and it was strangely mirthless. "You don't get to be friends with me. I know as a civilized person I should forgive and forget; but I'm a father and you ended Neva's life. Now is too soon to expect anything."

"I don't expect anything." Julian shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. "I'm here to beg for crumbs. Crumbs of kindness, crumbs of forgiveness - but crumbs. Yes, I know I don't deserve better treatment, but that's our lot as humans; we crave what we can't have."

"Stop with your blathering." Frost grimaced sourly at Julian; with his scraggly mustache and patchy shaven sunken cheeks. "You honestly look like you've suffered. I can't imagine anyone willingly going out in public looking so seedy...so homeless...so pathetic."

"I'm all those things and more. I can't ever make up for the great wrong I did to you and your family. One day...one day, I pray I can live with myself." Julian held out his hand again, letting it drop after a seemingly endless eternity where HR and Frost gazed at him with extreme doubt and distrust.

"We're done here. I can't stomach looking at you, but for your own sake, I hope you find peace." HR reached for his wife's hand and once in his grasp they left, feeling a bit lighter than they had in years.

_Please leave your reviews and your comments_. _I would also like to thank DancesWithSeatbelts for Co-writing this chapter as well and making this my longest chapter yet thanks. Just one more chapter to go and I think you're gonna like it._


	14. The Unfrozen Heart

Clothes were too restrictive; Harry wanted to touch all of Caitlin's skin, just like he'd dreamed of for so many times late at night. Letting his fingers trail over her delicate wrists was all fine and good, but what about the tender patches on her lower back? The inside of her elbows? Upper thigh? It made him pant a little harder, a bit hotter and breathe a question directly into Caitlin's ear. "I'm not a teen-ager anymore. Maybe we should go somewhere more comfortable?"

His words made Caitlin shiver. Honestly, she'd thought about this particular action with Harry a time or two. The intimacy they'd shared and the closeness they could have...she was conflicted in all the best ways. Reality meant awkwardness while dreams were all smooth and featured never a missed step. But if you never took a chance, you never won the prize. Giggling, Caitlin lowered her mouth back to Harry, giving his lips a quick kiss before standing. Holding out her hand, she used her best seductive voice, then winked. "I think I might know a place."

Grabbing her hand; Harry stood, coming in close, whispering, "Then lead the way."

Half-way down the hall towards the bedroom, Caitlin suddenly stopped.

"What? What is it?"

Caitlin reached into her pocket and Harry saw that her phone was going off.

"Who's calling at a time like this?"

Unwilling to answer, shaking her head, Caitin hit the ignore button. "It was nothing, nothing." She reached for him, running her fingers through his hair, making Harry gulp.

Leaning in to kiss her, Harry cupped Caitlin's chin, but Caitlin jumped and swatted at her phone as it buzzed again.

"You might as well answer it." Harry smiled and shrugged. "Since they're calling you we know at least it's half-important."

Letting out a sigh, Caitlin removed her phone and answered. "Caitlin, are you alright?" The voice coming from the phone made Harry want to roll his eyes. Julian really didn't know when to quit.

"She's fine, Julian." Harry didn't even try to disguise his irritation. Oh, but that wasn't all that good a response either - then Julian might feel he'd scored a point for his interruption. And that's all this call was, a brief interruption. Harry took the phone from Caitlin's unresisting grip and held it out to let the camera feed show both of them. "I see you're looking moderately better. I guess the pen to the gut wasn't enough to finish you off?"

"Ha. Ha. Truly hilarious." Julian frowned. "I was thinking of just calling but figured seeing a poor colleague in need of a favour would aid my cause much more."

"In plain English, Julian."

Harry had never been more proud of Caitlin. She'd sounded so disinterested and dare he say, peeved?

"I know how kind and thoughtful you are, and I'm in a bit of a bind, medically speaking." Julian's eyes went wide. The video chat was showing him a few more things than he'd bargained for, more than he'd ever even thought possible. Red patches on Caitlin's neck...like how tender skin reacted to being rubbed with a man's five o'clock shadow. Faint marks like the beginning's of bruises at the juncture of her neck - and even more damning, corresponding matching marks on Harry - and Harry's damn smug bastard face was just as upsetting to see.

Julian continued his appeal, knowing he was doomed to rejection, but having no semblance of pride, he kept going. "The hospital has agreed to discharge me but one of their caveats is that I must be under the watchful eye of a friend. Mostly so that don't strain my stitches…" Julian gulped, trying to keep his confusion and mild arousal under wraps. Caitlin's lips were definately bee-stung and well-kissed. Her lipstick was three-quarters gone from her mouth and what was missing was on Harry.

"I could cab it, but …" Julian wanted more than anything right now to scream his despair. Harry had his free hand stroking Caitlin's cheek; the sweet action louder than words, it proudly showed a great leap forward in their relationship.

"You know what, I'll call Barry. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Harry could tell Julian didn't actually agree with his own idea - he was just trying to save face.

"I'll find a way to toddle home, with or without offers of assistance."

"Do that." Caitlin only just stopped herself from rolling her eyes. "I'm glad you're doing better but I'm not available -"

"I can see that plainly." Julian wanted to blame his hurt feelings on surprise - but if he wanted to be truthful with himself, he should face facts and admit he'd always sensed disinterest from Caitlin. "I mean, I can see I've called at an inopportune time. I'll see you at work once I've mended, yes?"

"Yes." Caitlin relented and softened her abrupt agreement. "See you later, I'm sure Barry will help."

Harry gave Julian a dead-eyed stare as he brought the phone closer and swiped to disconnect the video call. He fixed a smile back on his face and looked at Caitlin. "Well, did that kill the mood or did it kill the mood?"

"Oh, Harry… No." Caitlin licked her lips and threw her arms around Harry's neck. "I'm ready...if you are?"

Harry captured Caitlin's lips with a heated kiss; breaking free to breathe, he asked, "How about we continue this in the bedroom?"

Caitlin mirrored her actions from earlier, pulling him in the direction of her bedroom. Crossing the threshold Caitlin released her hold on him and moved her hands to the buttons on her shirt, undoing one at a time. Harry stood and watched. When she had all the buttons undone, Caitlin removed the garment, tossing it to the floor. Harry wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close.

Caitlin was panting as she cupped Harry's face. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled him down for another kiss. Gripping his hair, Caitlin gave it a sharp tug which earned her a moan from Harry. His response made heat spread through her body. Needing to feel more, she reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it above his head. He eagerly helped her, shrugging free of the encumbrance that it had become.

His grin promised sensual pleasure and that drove the fire in Caitlin's veins hotter. Harry's shirt was flung with abandon, knocking several small items off Caitlin's dresser. "Shit!"

Harry laughed, catching hold of his soon to be lover's arm as Caitlin moved to pick up the scattered things. "I'm almost hurt you'd rather clean than continue."

"Oh, it's not that…" A blush covered her cheeks. Caitlin worried the corner of her lips, chewing absentmindedly. "You're gonna think it's silly, but I had -"

"A cat ear headband!" Harry spied the novelty item peeking out from under his abandoned shirt. He darted over and plucked it from the floor and stuck it on his head, smirking. "How do I look? Kawaii?"

"More hot than any grown man has a right to look sporting cat ears." Caitlin adjusted the headband and towseled Harry's hair. "You look confident." Caitlin felt awkward. Having a conversation about cat ears was not how she'd envisioned hers and Harry's first...encounter. Wanting to shove her hands into pockets she wasn't wearing, Caitlin instead let her hands rest on Harry's shoulders.

"Thank you." Harry winked. "I try." He stepped closer, crowding Caitlin, herding her towards the dresser until she backed up into it.

"Wha-what're you doing?" Hating that her voice wavered, Caitlin took a steadying breath, her fingers flexing, sliding down Harry's arms, enjoying the feel of his biceps. "There's a bed over -"

Harry nodded, reading the desire plain as day on Caitlin's face. "Let me show you something."

Dumbly, Caitlin nodded. There had to be a reason Harry drove all reason from her brain. She'd figure that out later, much, much later - because now, she was a mass of want and hormones.

As if he'd practiced this move with her countless times, Harry spanned Caitlin's waist with his hands and lifted her, a quick move that placed her on the top of the dresser. He moved closer into her splayed open legs and kissed her like a drowning man wanted air; hard and relentless. Harry groaned as Caitlin welcomed his kiss, as she wrapped her legs and crossed her ankles to trap him close.

Harry placed his hands on her thighs, working under Caitlin's demure skirt, rubbing up and down. Her skin was warm and only getting warmer. Pulling away from the kiss, Harry moved his lips to nibble down Caitlins long neck, pausing and sucking on a sweet spot - forcing a loud moan from her. Reaching behind Caitlin, Harry unclipped the black bra she wore and let it drop. Pulling back, he openly began admiring her full breasts. "Beautiful."

Suddenly bashful, Caitlin moved to hide her flesh - and Harry shook his head. "Don't." Before Caitlin could protest any further, Harry ducked his head to kiss and suckle her right breast while his right hand fondled the other. Caitlin's moans were becoming louder and more needy. His other hand wandered closer between her legs.

"Pl… please Harry?" Caitlin needed more and she wasn't afraid to beg. Quickly flicking his eyes to her face, Harry looked at her lust blown irises. Harry straightened up, hooking a finger in the waistband of her underwear, removing them with a sharp tug. Caitlin unbuckled Harry's jeans, tugging them down - each new movement more frantic than the preceding one.

Joy bubbled deep in her soul; a warm light that caressed her as surely as Harry's fingers did - and enveloped Caitlin, completely. Was it strange to join bodies on top of a piece of furniture when there was an available bed just paces away? Was it crazy to copulate on a dresser when mere minutes ago they'd decided to move from an awkward couch? Yes. But that was life - strange, wonderful and crazy. Passion couldn't be denied and Caitlin wanted with every fibre of her being to experience a magical and intense joining. Sex was primal. Sex was powerful - and Caitlin was done denying her wants.

"Take me, fill me and make me yours."

A new heat nudged Caitlin - wet with pre-cum. A hot, hard length that Harry held; shielding her body after a moment of thought. "Do we need protection?"

"A gun? Is there going to be a special guest appearance by a villain?" Caitlin spoke and then processed what Harry had meant. "Ah, no, I'm on the pill - keeps my skin from breaking out…" Two parts mortified and one part amused, Caitlin began to laugh, and then moaned. Harry had deciphered what she'd meant and had thrust his hips - instantly joining their bodies.

Hot. Caitlin's body was lush and welcoming and it was taking everything Harry had to refrain from losing his mind. A velvet vice; Caitlin's feminine flesh was squeezing his turgid length in a way his dreams had only ever faintly matched. Reality was a powerful force - and addicting. "Fuck!"

"Harder, you can fuck me harder." Caitlin wriggled her ass, moving as much as she was able to grind herself on Harry's cock. "Harder!"

Insensate with desire, Harry kept Caitlin speared on his dick as he pivoted and carried her to the bed. Each step was a torture; so close and yet so far to the promised playground of the bed. He sank his fingers into the pliable flesh of her hips and paused to lift and then force Caitlin down where they were joined. She only ever gasped her pleasure - pleading for more and begging with copious curses.

An eternity later, Harry reached the edge of the bed. He turned, sat and brought Caitlin's legs higher. She sat on his lap; a surprised look on her face - still full of hunger.

"Spread your legs wider."

Caitlin nodded, leaning backwards - the arch of her spine giving a delicious angle and friction where Harry's length was growing ever harder inside of her body. "Yes!" Wonder coloured her voice and gave it strength. "Ahhhh!" Harry grunted and it was just as arousing to hear him make a primal sound as it was to hear his eloquence. "Fuuuuuuck!"

Harry worked his loins upward and began to finger Caitlin like it was his only path to being allowed to live. His thumb and forefinger worked in concert, stroking with confidence. He pinched and dipped another finger inside as she rode his cock, her wet slickness freely allowing the contact.

Breaths speeding, building towards a release - Caitlin opened her mouth to scream.

Harry leaned forward, drinking Caitlin's voice like it was the finest of wines; all the while keeping his hips in motion, plunging deep inside only to pull back, his actions unrelenting until he had to rip his lips free as his lungs heaved. "I want you to cum, let happen…"

"I'm so close!" Caitlin was close to sobbing, the fullness she experienced was a pleasure that threatened her sanity. "Don't stop…"

"Couldn't if I wanted to!" Harry pushed Caitlin down with his free hand, his thumb and finger pinching Caitlin's clit and thrust up with his hips. The tight heat of Caitlin's sheath was undoing his mind. The delicious heat and pressure was too much - and as Harry lost control, the sudden intake of Caitlin's breath signalled her own slip over the edge into her orgasm.

A microcosm of intense pleasure shook both Harry and Caitlin; it lasted all too brief and yet echoed with lingering effects. Caitlin screamed at her apogee and Harry shuddered and shouted a litany of prayers and curses.

"Mmm!" Somehow sated and looking forward to a repeat performance, Caitlin hugged Harry. "Goddamn."

"Love you too."

Caitlin blinked in surprise. Fact after fact connected in her brain and heart. "Love you."

"I feel warm." Harry weakly laughed. "I think you've cracked my frozen heart."

**_I want to thank everyone who has read and commented on this story. I can't believe that frozen heart is Complete. I want to give a Special thank you to DancesWithSeatbelts for helping me with this story and co-writing some chapters including this one._** /users/DancesWithSeatbelts/pseuds/DancesWithSeatbelts/works?fandom_id=2282814 **_here is a link to Danceswithseatbelts Ao3 account she also has a fanfiction account by the same name. Her fanfictions are great so go check them out._**


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